I heard from Mr Handsome (the 56 year old depressed man I introduced to you in my entry 'Ding Dong the bells are ringing'). He is now considering a homosexual relationship. He apparently always thought that he was bisexual anyways so why not try it. Hey, who am I to argue?
I heard from Mr 2G2BT, he was wondering how things were going.
I heard from PMrR2 (much to my surprise, I thought he had fallen off the face of the earth). I asked him what had happened?? He replied 'you're a very very nice woman, the nicest one I've ever met, it's all me, it's not you'. For the record, I didn't bother analyzing that comment..... He's right though, it is his problem and not mine.
I heard from Mr Dangerous (the dangerously sexy man I introduced to you in my entry 'Dangerous lascivious thoughts').
Hearing from these people from my not so long ago outings has confirmed a couple of things. Not only did I do the right thing to 'drop and forget' them, it has also affirmed that I have in fact come a long way in a few aspects.
I'm learning every day to not control but to stay on guard. I've learnt to trust myself and to completely trust my instinct. Big strides indeed!
I had an outing with Mr Earring again this week. Nice gentle soul of a man. It was raining when we met. As soon as I opened my car door at the restaurant, he was there with an umbrella. That to me was very gentlemanly, very gallant and somewhat romantic. He did not expect anything in return. Mind you it was only our second outing, but still....I was impressed!
Mr Earring is funny, very intelligent and very 'deep' in his thoughts. He is quite interesting and I enjoy our conversations. I can tell by his intense looks that he is very much into me and I'm trying to avoid returning that gaze so that I do not mislead him. I am not sure yet if I should see him again (so that in fact I do not mislead him). I don't feel like we have enough in common, yet, paradoxically, we manage, so far, to find something to talk about..... and laugh, we laugh a lot together. I have to decide what to do soon......
PMrR1 is part of the reason that I'm having trouble deciding what to do with Mr Earring. I guess you all figured that out. Things are quiet on the PMrR1 front. Granted that it is an unusually busy time for him at work but I still say that if a man wants to see me, he will make the effort to do so no matter how busy he is. The less I see of him the more I lose interest.....
I'm supposed to see him again in the next few days for dinner. This has yet to be confirmed. This lack of contact is slowly but surely confirming that I should break all ties with him. If I continue to see him once in awhile, it will only serve to 'tease' me.....and for what? To possibly watch him leave with someone else? Again, I will not let that happen....... There is letting go of the control and then there is protecting myself....
So I'm waiting to see what happens with PMrR1. I'm trying really hard not to let my thoughts of him influence my decision to see Mr Earring again or not. I have to decide soon because Mr Earring is on the verge of asking me out again.
My anxiety level is up again. Yes I've let go of some control with PMrR1 but I hate having things up in the air. I know I just have to let it be and I am learning......slowly but surely.
Funny thing happened on my second outing with Mr Earring......I didn't even notice the earring...... go figure!
Deep breath in, deep breath out. I'm in control of myself. I'm the only one that I can control and I'm the only one responsible for controlling myself.
I am looking forward to see what the future holds.......
Signed a deep-breathing and smiling,
SSW :)
Why do you have to make a decision with either of these men... none have asked for an exclusive relationship... therefore, why not enjoy both of there "friendship" and see where it goes... frankly, I would be intrigued by Mr. Earring... he sounds like someone who is very secure with himself and not afraid of being judged... sounds like he carries a good conversation and makes you laugh... sounds like a gentleman... all very very important qualities... I like someone who can bring spice to life and who isn't afraid of being an individual... you'd probably have an enjoyable time with him...
ReplyDeleteSounds like someone who would jump puddles with you or dance in the rain... that's got to be good. Can't always take life too seriously and its very important to be able to have a belly laugh with a good friend...
Hi there! Thanks for your comment! I am more and more intrigued with Mr Earring. I'll see how that goes. As for PMrR1 I really like him and would really like to pursue with him. If he doesn't want that type of commitment, I'm not ready to just see him once in awhile and take the chance of 'falling' for him and therefore take the chance of being heart broken if he leaves with someone else. I'll see what happens.....
ReplyDeleteSSW :)