Yo-yoing

No, I did not just invent a new word (although, it's my blog and I'll invent one if I want to....lol). 

Yo-yoing, from the online dictionary means 'to undergo frequent abrupt shifts or reversals, as of opinion or emotion; vacillate.'

So you must all be wondering what it is I'm yo-yoing about? 

Take a wild guess!!!

*sigh*

Yes, of course that's what I'm yo-yoing about!  How I feel about M E N!!!  (HA).

Yesterday at work, some firefighters were around for a community activity.  The other ladies at work came over to tell me about it.  They all know that I, of all people, sure appreciate a handsome man in a firefighter uniform!

I just lightly smiled at them and didn't bother to go out.  Frankly, I couldn't care less what the firefighters looked like......  Yes, I actually just wrote that.

To tell you the truth, me not caring about having fun with the female coworkers while being in the firefighter's presence, has me worried a little bit. 

After discussing the PMrR1 situation with a friend the other day, she said to me 'you will find someone even better SSW'.  To which I automatically replied (I didn't even think of my reply)... 'well he's going to have to find me in my backyard because I won't be anywhere to be found'.

Yet, sometimes, I want to contact PMrR1 and yell at him, or talk to him or even hug him.  Most times I just want forget him and men in general though.

Yes, I'm generally feeling better about things, but there is still some level of frustration on my part. 

No, I will not contact PMrR1 and yell at him (lol) or talk to him or hug him....I am in control of myself.

In fact, I'm even managing to keep calm about the whole thing.

The shift in my dating attitude is throwing me off a little bit though.  I've never had this reaction before.  Perhaps I am through forever with men and dating?!

Even as I'm writing this to you I'm yo-yoing like crazy.  Thankfully, I am busy with the renovations and work and such. 

I'm a bit worried as to what I will be doing when the renovations are done and when I get to my holidays.  I'm concerned about NOT being so calm about the whole thing. 

Perhaps the next couple of weeks will continue to throw me into a state of complacency so great that I will blissfully coast through life without having to worry about the opposite sex ever again. 

Wouldn't that be great!? 

Miraculous even...... 

It would sure make my decision about continuing to date or not much easier wouldn't it?

I will sign off now and continue to live in my yo-yoing world!  A world where you're not sure if you're emotionally up or down or calm or agitated but always look calm and in control from the outside.  It's an exhausting  yo-yoing world!!!!

Yours truly in my yo-yoing state,

SSW :(