Games people play

'Games people play, You take it or you leave it
Things that they say, Just don't make it right
If I'm telling you the truth right now, Do you believe it
Games people play in the middle of the night.'  Alan Parsons project

As the verse above from the song 'Games People Play' indicates, I'm about to talk to you about games..... 

Is it in our nature to lie?  Why would you lie to make yourself seem like a different person if you're about to meet that person to whom you are lying?  Why would you not show yourself as you really are?  Obviously there are many factors in play and lots of them have to do with insecurities....or players..... 

A combination of an insecure person who is also a player....well that is not pretty!  Yes, I'm talking about some men (note I did not write ALL men).

Unfortunately, Mr Dangerous falls into the player category.  I'm not completely surprised by it all but it is very disappointing especially after seeing a glimpse of a possibility with him.  Long story short, Mr Dangerous is in fact playing a dangerous game and has a few secrets.  You can all very well imagine that not only will I never trust anyone with serious secrets but I won't even bother finding out what they are.  I have my suspicions of another life in another city though and that is enough for me.  The last thing I told Mr Dangerous is that I'm way to old to play games and that life is way to short to play them.  I then wished him luck.  No wasting of time is necessary because in fact, life is way too short.....

People play games though.  Even Mr 2G2BT played them in my perception.  I still shake my head at his sudden decision NOT to want a long term relationship with anyone because he doesn't know what he wants.  At the age of 53, I hope he figures it out.  There are crazy games being played with online dating and I try to ignore all of them but once in awhile, I miss the signs such as with Mr Dangerous.  Thankfully, I caught on quickly enough though.....

Another one that I missed was last summer.  In fact, he was my first contact from a dating site.  Mr Baldy.  My first clue with Mr Baldy was when he lied to me twice about his age.  I should have ran the other way right then and there.  His flagrant insecurity about being 48 then 50 and then 'no really I'm 52' was more than enough, but no, like a sucker, I decided to ignore and go on...  Mr Baldy and I spent about 2 months dating.  He was seriously unstable and considering my professional background, I was surprised that I only picked up on it right before I told him to never contact me again.

Mr Baldy and I did have some good times.  They were all non sexual even if I did spend a lot of time with him.  This was a big clue that I also missed.  Naturally, most men and women will try some sort of sexual expression after awhile.  But not with him. 

After a few months with him though, I started really opening my eyes and seeing a few things.  For example, Mr Baldy would go to the washroom and have a shower afterwards.   Every time he went to the washroom, he had a shower.  He would shower 8-10 times per day.  In the middle of a conversation, Mr Baldy would get up and suddenly start cleaning his kitchen sink, the stove etc....with javex.  Mr Baldy would obsess about a variety of things and would not drop the subject.  Yes, it took me a while but it suddenly dawned on me that Mr Baldy had in fact OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).  He was also bipolar (manic depressive). 

After a few months, there was one incident of verbal abuse toward me.  Let me tell you that Mr Baldy got the boot pretty damn quickly after that.  As you can probably figure out, that was not a good move on his part to attempt that with me. 

Before I gave him the boot though, wanting to be a friend to him and wanting to help, I confronted him on his apparent OCD and his manic-depresssive tendencies.  He casually admitted to them.  I informed him that those were treatable.  To my surprise, he told me that he was seeing a psychiatrist but that he had never taken the medication that was prescribed to him.  The day after that was the verbal abuse incident.  In no uncertain terms did I inform Mr Baldy that he was never to contact me again.  He never did.

Games people play are interesting.  Mr Dangerous has his secrets, Mr Baldy is a sick man but he plays the game of trying to hide it and it eventually becomes obvious.  If you've read my other entries, you can recall for yourself the different types of games that are being played out there.  All in the name of being insecure, of being a player or of just trying to take advantage of people.

It is to the point where it has me wondering if I'm playing a game?  I swear, I had to sit myself down and think.  Am I playing a game and that is why I am spinning with this dating thing?  I questioned it, I analyzed it.  I reviewed all of my files but  I can't pinpoint anything that I'm doing that would be classified as playing a game.  I try to be honest in what I want, I'm not too aggressive yet am not a wimp either.  It has left me shaking my head and wondering.....

'Games people play you take it or you leave it....'  Well I leave it.  I will not play games and I do my best not to fall for them.  Unfortunately, they are not always obvious and it is a chance that you have to take.

My profile on the dating site is still hidden...it will remain so for awhile still until I decide what to do. 

I can't help but think of the insecure women that are falling prey to some of these men.  If you do not have a strong character, you run the chance of getting eaten alive and that is the saddest thing of all.

I feel like quitting it all, but there is a stronger pull towards not doing so for now.  So I will remain patient and I will keep on smiling.

SSW :)