This incredible man is making me feel! To be able to feel things, all kind of 'things' is an incredible feeling in itself..... Weirdly enough I'm feeling 'things' I never thought I would ever feel or didn't believe existed.... *sigh*.
Yup, I'm hooked in.....hook, line and sinker.....
Oh don't you all worry, I haven't completely lost myself in this. I'm still aware and I'm still listening, observing and learning. I have not had an entry titled 'Introducing Mr Right'.....yet......
No bells are ringing though and my files are happily cuddled together and sleeping. The Mitigation File (M), the Experience File (E) and the Trust file (T) have actually done their job and with that I have MET someone great!
The biggest challenge for me at the moment is finding the right balance. I sometimes get overwhelmed by it all and frankly a little bit scared. Don't forget that I have been alone and completely independent for over 10 years. I know that Mr Confident has admitted to feeling a bit scared also.
We are working in finding the balance with each other. It is not easy. I'm happy to have met him at the beginning of my holidays thus making it that much easier to adjust. A big period of adjustment will probably occur when I go back to work though.....I think we are up to the challenge.
A funny thought just went through my mind as I wrote the last paragraph..... I'm not even doubting that this man will still be in my life by the time I get back to work. Now that in itself is almost miraculous....
No, Mr Confident and I are finding the right balance. We encourage each other to do our 'thing' and to take care of business. He is teaching me (in a big way) to relax and to let go but on the other hand, I'm teaching him (I believe) to get things done and on schedule. He feels very productive with me on his days off and for that I am pleased.
So I'm finding the balance with the time to do my 'things' and more importantly with the time to spend with my son. I check in almost daily with my son in terms of finding out what he feels about all of this.
As it stands, he really likes Mr Confidence and I don't foresee this really changing in him...... Again, I'm very happy with that.....what my son thinks is very important to me.
The one place where I definitely need to regain control and balance is in the food department. If you haven't read my January 2013 entry 'U can't touch this!!', please go read it to understand what it is I'm talking about.
Mr Confident has a sweet tooth. A serious sweet tooth. Our cooking styles are complete opposites. I'm the fat conscious healthy cook and he is the 'fat adds taste to everything' cook. It's a problem..... It's a problem because in trying to integrate a relationship between Mr Confident and my son (Mr Confident works long hours) he has been having dinners with us. Thing is, Mr Confident is an excellent cook and he absolutely loves it. He insists on cooking because he loves it so much and it relaxes him after work. So combine that with SSW here who doesn't particular like cooking but who likes food......well, I foresee a potential disaster ahead....
What have I done to balance this? I've diminished portion sizes to begin with. I've also kept up the gym and the exercise which is a very good thing.....
This week, I'm dealing with the hormonal side of things where sugar and salt are in the forefront. Guess who is feeding me the sweets and the salt ON TOP of the dinners..... *sigh*. Yup... Mr Confident's attitude is 'if you crave it, eat it'..... He is obviously not a middle aged hormonal woman....lol.
Funny thing is, I've actually lost a couple of pounds last week. Probably due to the smaller portion size....?
I'm not blaming Mr Confident. I've learnt over the years that what crosses my lips is MY responsibility and mine alone.... I definitely need to find the balance in the food department though....
I think I will figure it out. You see, the thing is, how my relationship with Mr Confident stands, I don't think that there will be anything that we cannot figure out together. Mr Confident and I are fast becoming best friends and we communicate well. I will be surprised if there is something that we can't conquer together.....
So there you have it. Finding the balance. I thought I had the balance, I really did. I'm in the process of redefining it though. I'm more relaxed and less rigid with schedules, I'm learning that even the 'bad' foods can have a small place in my life (small place being the key word) and I'm also learning to allow someone in my life to help me with a variety of everyday things. I'm learning to trust. It's really something eh?
I'm trusting enough to allow Mr Confident to treat me like a queen (and boy does he ever) without even thinking of questioning his motives.
I celebrated my birthday a few days ago. The attention poured on me, the love and affection put forth in all of the little details just for the sake of pleasing me.....wow....truly mind boggling stuff. The romance continues, the laughter continues and so does the good conversations. The caring and the love is developing....
Lots of overwhelming stuff happening in my life. You can all imagine that I get the 'panic' feeling at times. Sometimes I supress it and at other times, I share it with Mr Confident who in turn always always always reassures me.
So there you have it. I'm trying to regain some balance and more importantly I'm trying to find the right one. We are both on the verge of meeting some family members (I've already met his lovely elderly mother who promptly look at his son after a few minutes of being with me and told him NOT to lose me.....lol, it was great). Mr Confident and I both laugh at that once in awhile.
The laughter is a definite plus for us. We were at a store today and a worker stopped us to tell us that we were a 'cute' couple. I suspect we radiate happiness and joy.....
Not a bad thing at all eh?
Signed yours truly in a balancing act....
SSW :))
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