I was in the change room yesterday at the gym. The change room is proving to be a good ressource for this blog :)
This time around, my ears got tuned into a conversation between two older ladies. I gave them each to be about 10 years older than me in their mid fifties. I wasn't eavesdropping but they were talking loudly so who am I not to listen? Ha!
These seasoned ladies were talking divorce! One of them had had it and she was 'at the end of her rope' with it. Her soon to be ex was being a jerk (imagine that) and while she was at home struggling with the teens he was on holidays somewhere warm and comfy. He was not paying his child support and he was bashing her to anyone that would listen. The friend listening to her was trying to be empathetic. She was listening to her, trying to encourage her and talking about her own divorce experience. Her encouraging words took a funny turn though when she told her that it could take years and years to settle but that eventually the court would catch up to him and that the so-called dead beat dad would have to provide support.... The first lady blanched a little at the mention of years and years. She then stated something that stopped me dead in my tracks: 'I'm NOT doing this ever again' she said, 'I'm through with men'!
As you can imagine, this conversation got me thinking..... Am I so sure I want to get involved in a long term relationship and thus potentially have to deal with ups and downs and maybe break ups? I don't want to break up a relationship before I even start one (no, I'm not quite that cynical) but the thought of seperation has crossed my mind. Obviously, having been seperated once (and as far as seperation goes, it was a good one, my late husband was a fantastic father, considerate and even generous when it came to child support), having been seperated once, the thought has realistically crossed my mind.
Now I don't know what you think, but a seperation or a divorce is hard. It is physically, socially, emotionally and psychologically draining. It can create a sense of desperateness, it can create anxiety, depression and stress so high that you didn't even realize it existed at that level. On my part, a seperation has left me vulnerable on many levels....yet also stronger on other levels. No, it is not easy breaking up with a partner.
So this strong, vulnerable, non-cynical, cautious and worried women is thinking. I have stated before and I state again that there is no way that I'm entering a long term, living-with-someone relationship without a prenup. Obviously, I should probably worry about getting into this said relationship before talking living with him (haha).
Lots of people are of the opinion that if you start a relationship with a prenup well then it's because you are getting ready for it to fail. Others think that you are nuts if you do not have a prenup!
Romantic or not, wanting it to succeed or not, I'm not risking what I do have for Mr Right (if I ever find him). Of that I am sure. If Mr Right does not agree to a prenup, well then, I will be disappointed, but Mr Right will be out of my life.... I promise that.
Yes, I know I will get comments about my attitude right now. I understand that you have to be positive and that you have to send good energy out to the universe... I get it. But I'm a big believer in being realistic....
I hid my whole profile on the dating site tonight. I've had it with the dating for now. I'm confused and tired and those are not good combinations. I'm not sure who I'm dating and who I'm not dating anymore. I think I will just let things be for a bit and go out once in awhile with the Misters I do know.
I know enough that when I start talking about breakups and prenups and divorce that I am not at a good enough place to really move forward with anyone but with myself for now. So I will concentrate on my son, myself, my work and do my thing for a bit....
Yours, by herself...... SSW :)
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
Sunday, 24 February 2013
Settling? Let's settle this now!
How do you know if you are on the right track? How do you know if you are not settling? What are the odds of both persons being on the same track when it comes to wanting to be with each other?
When we are young, of course we will usually be on the same track, we are yearning to experience the relationship, we want to live our lives with someone.... I'm not saying that you are settling when you are young, but you do not have the same amount of experience as when you are older....
Now let's fast forward to middle age. We've usually had the experience of a relationship.....we've lived it. Now those of us that are comfortable with ourselves and have been alone for years and years how are we approaching this? Personally I'm approaching this finding-a-partner thing a bit blindly, a bit apprehensively and with lots and lots of caution. Believe me when I say it's scary. I've had more women tell me that 'if I happen to become single, I'm staying that way, I don't know how you do it'. Funny enough, I've also have several woman say 'I want to have your life for one week'. lol. That one makes me chuckle......
Ok, so back to settling or not? I'm careful and apprehensive but how will I know when I can stop being so? Will it be when I stop feeling like I have to be cautious all the time? Will it be when I don't feel like dating is work anymore? More importantly, will it be when my E file finally quiets down and when the T file opens up completely thus making the M file obsolete?
A side note : my file analogy represents what I feel and what I'm thinking. The point of this blog is to express those thoughts and maybe make me realize a few things about myself. A comment I received in my last entry had me thinking. The anonyous commentator said she was concerned to see the files come back into my entry after I had been quiet about them for awhile. Yes, I dare say that the files may in fact get quieter as I relax more and start having more fun. The mention of the files are a way for me to express what I'm feeling. Whether it be fear and anxiety over being disappointed or even over finding someone great. Those emotions are there and I will have to deal with them. The files for me are a fun and clear cut way to identify the emotions and to express myself...
Ok, so back to me not being cautious anymore, me having fun, me having quiet files.... I'm assuming that some of these things will happen when (if) ever I meet Mr Right? Maybe I've already met him? Mr 2G2BT or Mr Italian? Maybe another Mr I haven't met yet? I don't know but in the meantime, I continue to date and to NOT settle no matter what. I will feel the emotions and I will express them. I will take deep breaths and I will not make hasty decisions about anyone....
I will not settle though. No, I'm not looking for perfection, not at all. I am however looking for a strong connection in terms of being able to talk about anything and I'm also looking for a spark. I've had people tell me that the spark is not important but I don't know. I'm not convinced. Obviously, the spark is NOT the most important thing but isn't it ok to look for a balance in both? Getting along with someone, having a strong connection AND having a spark between us?
I'm going to see Mr 2G2BT next weekend. I strongly suspect that it may be my last date with him. Ok, maybe not... I just said that I wouldn't make any hasty decisions but I don't know.... I will have to decide something at one point I suppose?
What I do know is that by the time the next date comes along it will have been two weeks since we've last seen each other. We've exchanged a couple of emails last week and we will see what this week brings. Thing is, I feel like I should be missing him more than what I am....
Yes, there is something missing on my part when it comes to Mr 2G2BT and I'm pretty sure it's the spark. Yes, I've had friends encourage me to stick it out with him to see if it would develop and I have. I may a bit longer.... I'm not sure yet.....
The one thing I do know is that at first and second glance, Mr Italian has so far captured me on both levels. It is obviously very early in a possible friendship and no, before any of you suggest it, I am not putting all my eggs in this basket. I am not doubting what I do have with Mr 2G2BT because of Mr Italian. However what this 47 year old gentleman has done is shown me a glimpse of someone having both important traits that I'm looking for in a man....an intellectual connection and a spark. Now will it go anywhere with Mr Italian? Will we both be on the same page? I don't know..... time will tell. I'm going out with him again either tomorrow or the day after. We shall see how things go....
I still have friends telling me (and possibly some readers thinking) that I should just enter a relationship with someone. Well I'm here to settle this right now and to say that I will not be settling!!
I will not enter into anything that I'm not comfortable with at all levels. No way! Again, I'm not looking for perfection but I will not settle for anything less than what I want and what I deserve. I'm not asking for too much am I? More importantly, at this point, what do I have to lose?
Independently yours,
SSW :)
When we are young, of course we will usually be on the same track, we are yearning to experience the relationship, we want to live our lives with someone.... I'm not saying that you are settling when you are young, but you do not have the same amount of experience as when you are older....
Now let's fast forward to middle age. We've usually had the experience of a relationship.....we've lived it. Now those of us that are comfortable with ourselves and have been alone for years and years how are we approaching this? Personally I'm approaching this finding-a-partner thing a bit blindly, a bit apprehensively and with lots and lots of caution. Believe me when I say it's scary. I've had more women tell me that 'if I happen to become single, I'm staying that way, I don't know how you do it'. Funny enough, I've also have several woman say 'I want to have your life for one week'. lol. That one makes me chuckle......
Ok, so back to settling or not? I'm careful and apprehensive but how will I know when I can stop being so? Will it be when I stop feeling like I have to be cautious all the time? Will it be when I don't feel like dating is work anymore? More importantly, will it be when my E file finally quiets down and when the T file opens up completely thus making the M file obsolete?
A side note : my file analogy represents what I feel and what I'm thinking. The point of this blog is to express those thoughts and maybe make me realize a few things about myself. A comment I received in my last entry had me thinking. The anonyous commentator said she was concerned to see the files come back into my entry after I had been quiet about them for awhile. Yes, I dare say that the files may in fact get quieter as I relax more and start having more fun. The mention of the files are a way for me to express what I'm feeling. Whether it be fear and anxiety over being disappointed or even over finding someone great. Those emotions are there and I will have to deal with them. The files for me are a fun and clear cut way to identify the emotions and to express myself...
Ok, so back to me not being cautious anymore, me having fun, me having quiet files.... I'm assuming that some of these things will happen when (if) ever I meet Mr Right? Maybe I've already met him? Mr 2G2BT or Mr Italian? Maybe another Mr I haven't met yet? I don't know but in the meantime, I continue to date and to NOT settle no matter what. I will feel the emotions and I will express them. I will take deep breaths and I will not make hasty decisions about anyone....
I will not settle though. No, I'm not looking for perfection, not at all. I am however looking for a strong connection in terms of being able to talk about anything and I'm also looking for a spark. I've had people tell me that the spark is not important but I don't know. I'm not convinced. Obviously, the spark is NOT the most important thing but isn't it ok to look for a balance in both? Getting along with someone, having a strong connection AND having a spark between us?
I'm going to see Mr 2G2BT next weekend. I strongly suspect that it may be my last date with him. Ok, maybe not... I just said that I wouldn't make any hasty decisions but I don't know.... I will have to decide something at one point I suppose?
What I do know is that by the time the next date comes along it will have been two weeks since we've last seen each other. We've exchanged a couple of emails last week and we will see what this week brings. Thing is, I feel like I should be missing him more than what I am....
Yes, there is something missing on my part when it comes to Mr 2G2BT and I'm pretty sure it's the spark. Yes, I've had friends encourage me to stick it out with him to see if it would develop and I have. I may a bit longer.... I'm not sure yet.....
The one thing I do know is that at first and second glance, Mr Italian has so far captured me on both levels. It is obviously very early in a possible friendship and no, before any of you suggest it, I am not putting all my eggs in this basket. I am not doubting what I do have with Mr 2G2BT because of Mr Italian. However what this 47 year old gentleman has done is shown me a glimpse of someone having both important traits that I'm looking for in a man....an intellectual connection and a spark. Now will it go anywhere with Mr Italian? Will we both be on the same page? I don't know..... time will tell. I'm going out with him again either tomorrow or the day after. We shall see how things go....
I still have friends telling me (and possibly some readers thinking) that I should just enter a relationship with someone. Well I'm here to settle this right now and to say that I will not be settling!!
I will not enter into anything that I'm not comfortable with at all levels. No way! Again, I'm not looking for perfection but I will not settle for anything less than what I want and what I deserve. I'm not asking for too much am I? More importantly, at this point, what do I have to lose?
SSW :)
Thursday, 21 February 2013
Confucius says......
So now confusion is settling in. Somehow I knew that this 'let's continue to date other people' would not make things easier. I knew it!!!! Arghhh!
No, I'm not talking about my hormonal attack that I had with Mr Dangerous a few nights ago (although the thought of him still gets my hormones going), no, now I'm talking about Mr Italian! A funny, cute, smart, hard working father of one teenage son. Dark black hair, dark eyes, dark complexion. Not only the complete opposite of me (which is no big deal) but the complete opposite of what I usually go for.... (which technically is also no big deal I guess).
Mr Italian is charming and I enjoyed my cup of tea with him. We sipped tea and talked and laughed. Now of course I'm thinking..... 'What the heck do I do now'?? There is Mr 2G2BT that had piqued my interest considerably, Mr Dangerous who perked me up but let's face it, more on a carnal level and now Mr Italian who has also captured my attention to about the same level as Mr 2G2BT.
OMG! I never, in a million-gazillion years (that's a lot of years) thought that I would ever ever be in a situation like this.....
So if I take away the hormonal attack (haha), the true confusion lies between Mr 2G2BT and now Mr Italian. Definite connection with this 47 year old man and wow did he get my attention. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a cup of tea so much....
I'm going out with Mr Italian tomorrow night. Mr 2G2BT is busy with his young adult children this weekend.
Although I'm fine with it (I think), I'm still not convinced that dating more than one person is the way to go. I understand the necessity of going slow when wanting a relationship. But still...... let's look at the pros and cons of dating more than one.
Pros:
-takes the focus off the one person thus preventing that I get attached too quickly
-will allow me to see what I really want in one partner, what traits are important to me and which ones aren't (although I should know that at my age)
-it is enjoyable, I'm having fun for the most part and I am meeting some interesting people (some more so than others).
-after being single for so long I have to admit that it is a boost to my confidence (although I wasn't really lagging)
Cons:
-dating more than one person can be perpetual? When do you stop? When do you know to stop?
-there can be a serious waste of time.....or is it a waste of time? For some yes...Mr Stinker comes to mind but for others, maybe not....
-it can get to be overwhelming (well for me anyways). Scheduling this with two jobs, a teen, a home, the gym and life in general is no small feat. I must be shattering some kind of world record with the amount of first dates that I've had. (Note that at the present, nothing is suffering, especially not my son - my priority...in fact, I think he is learning a lot about self-respect through our discussions).
-if I continue to date others, statistically, won't I probably always meet someone that is better than the other one? Do I just stop and call it settling? (Entry to the blog on 'settling' is coming soon).
and finally
-if I wait too long to date only one, am I not risking that I lose them all?
So there it is. A pro and con list. There are more items in the con list than in the pro list. However, the 'weight' of the items on the pro side is more important to me at the moment. Especially the first one.
-takes the focus off the one person thus preventing that I get attached too quickly
This one is important to me. I know me. I know the working of the files up there (yes there) and I know the dangers of getting attached too quickly. So yes, there are definite advantages to dating more than one person..... at the moment.
Now I don't know if any of you thought of it but this can definitely be bad also. What better way for me to avoid trusting ONE person by just NOT trusting any of them? How easy would that be? I'll just date a few men perpetually and not develop anything on a deeper emotional level. The M file does not like that thought at all. I just got THE look from her, she is shaking her head and is going back to work..... (yes, that is happening in my brain...haha). If you are confused with this analogy, please refer to my January entry of 'The ET files'.
So there you have it. I think I've covered the bases. Firstly, I know that dating more than one man for now might serve to confuse me because now Mr 2G2BT has competition (I will see over the next little while how serious that competition is). But I also know that it's ok because I don't want to get attached too quickly to anyone.
Secondly, I have also realized that I have to be careful not to let this go on and on and on so that I eventually have to deal with trusting someone or not.
Have I covered everything? Does this make sense? I think it does?
Confucius says: 'Go to bed SSW and stop thinking'. Smart guy that Confucius....
Yours in a tiny bit of confusion....
SSW :)
No, I'm not talking about my hormonal attack that I had with Mr Dangerous a few nights ago (although the thought of him still gets my hormones going), no, now I'm talking about Mr Italian! A funny, cute, smart, hard working father of one teenage son. Dark black hair, dark eyes, dark complexion. Not only the complete opposite of me (which is no big deal) but the complete opposite of what I usually go for.... (which technically is also no big deal I guess).
Mr Italian is charming and I enjoyed my cup of tea with him. We sipped tea and talked and laughed. Now of course I'm thinking..... 'What the heck do I do now'?? There is Mr 2G2BT that had piqued my interest considerably, Mr Dangerous who perked me up but let's face it, more on a carnal level and now Mr Italian who has also captured my attention to about the same level as Mr 2G2BT.
OMG! I never, in a million-gazillion years (that's a lot of years) thought that I would ever ever be in a situation like this.....
So if I take away the hormonal attack (haha), the true confusion lies between Mr 2G2BT and now Mr Italian. Definite connection with this 47 year old man and wow did he get my attention. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a cup of tea so much....
I'm going out with Mr Italian tomorrow night. Mr 2G2BT is busy with his young adult children this weekend.
Although I'm fine with it (I think), I'm still not convinced that dating more than one person is the way to go. I understand the necessity of going slow when wanting a relationship. But still...... let's look at the pros and cons of dating more than one.
Pros:
-takes the focus off the one person thus preventing that I get attached too quickly
-will allow me to see what I really want in one partner, what traits are important to me and which ones aren't (although I should know that at my age)
-it is enjoyable, I'm having fun for the most part and I am meeting some interesting people (some more so than others).
-after being single for so long I have to admit that it is a boost to my confidence (although I wasn't really lagging)
Cons:
-dating more than one person can be perpetual? When do you stop? When do you know to stop?
-there can be a serious waste of time.....or is it a waste of time? For some yes...Mr Stinker comes to mind but for others, maybe not....
-it can get to be overwhelming (well for me anyways). Scheduling this with two jobs, a teen, a home, the gym and life in general is no small feat. I must be shattering some kind of world record with the amount of first dates that I've had. (Note that at the present, nothing is suffering, especially not my son - my priority...in fact, I think he is learning a lot about self-respect through our discussions).
-if I continue to date others, statistically, won't I probably always meet someone that is better than the other one? Do I just stop and call it settling? (Entry to the blog on 'settling' is coming soon).
and finally
-if I wait too long to date only one, am I not risking that I lose them all?
So there it is. A pro and con list. There are more items in the con list than in the pro list. However, the 'weight' of the items on the pro side is more important to me at the moment. Especially the first one.
-takes the focus off the one person thus preventing that I get attached too quickly
This one is important to me. I know me. I know the working of the files up there (yes there) and I know the dangers of getting attached too quickly. So yes, there are definite advantages to dating more than one person..... at the moment.
Now I don't know if any of you thought of it but this can definitely be bad also. What better way for me to avoid trusting ONE person by just NOT trusting any of them? How easy would that be? I'll just date a few men perpetually and not develop anything on a deeper emotional level. The M file does not like that thought at all. I just got THE look from her, she is shaking her head and is going back to work..... (yes, that is happening in my brain...haha). If you are confused with this analogy, please refer to my January entry of 'The ET files'.
So there you have it. I think I've covered the bases. Firstly, I know that dating more than one man for now might serve to confuse me because now Mr 2G2BT has competition (I will see over the next little while how serious that competition is). But I also know that it's ok because I don't want to get attached too quickly to anyone.
Secondly, I have also realized that I have to be careful not to let this go on and on and on so that I eventually have to deal with trusting someone or not.
Have I covered everything? Does this make sense? I think it does?
Confucius says: 'Go to bed SSW and stop thinking'. Smart guy that Confucius....
Yours in a tiny bit of confusion....
SSW :)
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
Dangerous lascivious thoughts
Oh my oh my oh my!! Oh me oh my! I went out with Mr Dangerous tonight! Why is he dangerous you ask? Mr Dangerous is an exciting, sexy, tall, bald, erotic thought provoking D A N G E R. Bad bad bad SSW!!! Get those thoughts out of your head girl! Oh me Oh my!!!
Ok, I got it out of my system, I feel better for confessing to you all! Mr Dangerous is 39 years old (ahem) and very very very sexy! I apologize but it's not all out of my system, here I go again..... My heart rate went up, my blood pressure definitely spiked and so did all the hormones that are left in this perimenopausal woman's body! I got a surge of hormones I haven't felt in......well, it's been awhile and I'm still fanning myself as I write to you. I caught myself twirling my hair while talking (and trying not to stare) at him. I tried to control my eyes that kept on scanning his body. It was so hot in that restaurant and my glass of wine hit me like I had drank the bottle. I drank water and more water afterwards to control myself ....lol.
Ok ok, enough, you get the point. But man was this fun! The good thing (or maybe the not so good thing) is that he wants to see me again. OH OH!!!
Ok, let's sit down, take a deep breath (funny how those deep breaths come in handy for all kinds of things) and let's use our head....unfortunately - HA.
I have already been on the phone with my BFF to try to rationalize this meeting. The first thing she asked is 'how did you guys talk'. I replied that if Mr 2G2BT and I talk at a comfort of 100%, Mr Dangerous and I talked at a comfort of about 80% tonight. So BFF is trying to convince me that between an A and an A+ that there is not that much of a difference! My God I love that BFF of mine!!
Mr Dangerous did say a few things that sent a warning bell ringing though. He talked of serious gambling that he used to do. He also talked a bit about his experiences with other relationships. I did find him to be a bit more spontaneous than what I am used to or comfortable with. For example, last Christmas day, he felt lonely, got on the dating site and a woman from down south of here (approximately 400 km or 250 miles) contacted him and they went off for three days on a trip together! Yikes! I'm also saying YIKES to that woman. She is apparently a lawyer that wanted him to move in with her (yes he is that sexy) but he declined.
Tonight, Mr Dangerous and I were able to talk about all kinds of things and I did like that fact (beauty and brains). He takes care of his kids and he is working. He was a complete gentleman and very respectful. Did I mention how sexy he is?
I'm not sure when I will meet him again or IF I will meet him again. But IF I do, it will be in public (because I don't trust myself......haha).
I have purposely kept my E-file quiet in this entry to my blog tonight. I'm spotting the Experience file looking at me, raised eyebrow, drumming his fingers..... but I'm not listening, no, not tonight, maybe later, just let me have this fun for a bit! Because no matter what, tonight was a fun outing....
In the meantime, sweet gentle Mr 2G2BT is on my mind.....
OH MY indeed.....
Dreamingly yours,
SSW :)
Ok, I got it out of my system, I feel better for confessing to you all! Mr Dangerous is 39 years old (ahem) and very very very sexy! I apologize but it's not all out of my system, here I go again..... My heart rate went up, my blood pressure definitely spiked and so did all the hormones that are left in this perimenopausal woman's body! I got a surge of hormones I haven't felt in......well, it's been awhile and I'm still fanning myself as I write to you. I caught myself twirling my hair while talking (and trying not to stare) at him. I tried to control my eyes that kept on scanning his body. It was so hot in that restaurant and my glass of wine hit me like I had drank the bottle. I drank water and more water afterwards to control myself ....lol.
Ok ok, enough, you get the point. But man was this fun! The good thing (or maybe the not so good thing) is that he wants to see me again. OH OH!!!
Ok, let's sit down, take a deep breath (funny how those deep breaths come in handy for all kinds of things) and let's use our head....unfortunately - HA.
I have already been on the phone with my BFF to try to rationalize this meeting. The first thing she asked is 'how did you guys talk'. I replied that if Mr 2G2BT and I talk at a comfort of 100%, Mr Dangerous and I talked at a comfort of about 80% tonight. So BFF is trying to convince me that between an A and an A+ that there is not that much of a difference! My God I love that BFF of mine!!
Mr Dangerous did say a few things that sent a warning bell ringing though. He talked of serious gambling that he used to do. He also talked a bit about his experiences with other relationships. I did find him to be a bit more spontaneous than what I am used to or comfortable with. For example, last Christmas day, he felt lonely, got on the dating site and a woman from down south of here (approximately 400 km or 250 miles) contacted him and they went off for three days on a trip together! Yikes! I'm also saying YIKES to that woman. She is apparently a lawyer that wanted him to move in with her (yes he is that sexy) but he declined.
Tonight, Mr Dangerous and I were able to talk about all kinds of things and I did like that fact (beauty and brains). He takes care of his kids and he is working. He was a complete gentleman and very respectful. Did I mention how sexy he is?
I'm not sure when I will meet him again or IF I will meet him again. But IF I do, it will be in public (because I don't trust myself......haha).
I have purposely kept my E-file quiet in this entry to my blog tonight. I'm spotting the Experience file looking at me, raised eyebrow, drumming his fingers..... but I'm not listening, no, not tonight, maybe later, just let me have this fun for a bit! Because no matter what, tonight was a fun outing....
In the meantime, sweet gentle Mr 2G2BT is on my mind.....
OH MY indeed.....
Dreamingly yours,
SSW :)
Monday, 18 February 2013
Weirded out
Weirded out? Yes I am. Want me to explain? Synonyms of weirded out are: agitated, distraught, freaked out, frenetic, shook up, wired, worked up etc....
Why am I in this state you say? I don't know???? My E-file has no entry on this and is just shrugging his shoulders. My T-file is hiding his face. There is nothing to Mitigate so the M-file is just sitting there looking stupid! There is no Experience, no Trust and definitely nothing to Mitigate. So, what do I do?
I cannot even begin to tell you how much I want to run the other way. I want to throw it away. I hate feeling like this. It's scary and stressful and throws me off balance like I've rarely felt before.
Don't be too concerned. I can handle it and it won't bring me down but it is freaking me out! So what will I do? I will not think about it too much. I will take a deep breath and I will be patient with myself and with the process.
I see a definite pattern here, a new motto developing... 'Breath, keep busy, be patient'. 'Breath, keep busy, be patient'. It has a nice ring to it....
So what has thrown me in this uncharted filing territory? Worse thing yet, I DON'T KNOW!
I will start by the beginning. I had an outing with Mr 2G2BT two nights ago for his birthday. Dinner and a play. A wonderful evening! I truly enjoy his company and he seems to be enjoying mine. We talked a lot after the play over a glass of wine and all was good.
That is it. Nothing more to write. So why do I feel this way and why oh why am I still hearing a bell ring once in awhile. A clear and distinct 'Ding Dong', not too loud, but ever so present? I don't know..... :(
Mr 2G2BT and I are taking it slow and we are supposed to see each other again next weekend. In the meantime, break is over and although I haven't turned on the pictures on my dating profile, I do have a few first meetings set up for this week with others.
Going out with others will ensure that I don't get emotionally involved too quickly with Mr 2G2BT. There is no way that I'm sitting around waiting while he continues to date others ....
So I wait and see. My gut is telling me something and I'm not sure what. I've already known Mr 2G2BT for one month now (how time flies when you're having fun) and I'm bound to find out what is going on one way or another. I have to remember to be patient.....right?
In the meantime, life goes on. I spend time with my wonderful son, I take care of my home, I work my jobs, I exercise, I talk to friends and family and I spend time with the most important person in my life..... Me. I need to remember not to forget about her. I need to remember that over analysis will throw 'her' into a weirded out place.
So here I go, 'breath in, breath out, keep busy and be patient'. Oh and of course .....smile. Life is good, I could decide to walk away anytime I wanted to, the temptation is there, but I'm not doing it .......yet....
Yours in a weirded out state,
SSW :)
Why am I in this state you say? I don't know???? My E-file has no entry on this and is just shrugging his shoulders. My T-file is hiding his face. There is nothing to Mitigate so the M-file is just sitting there looking stupid! There is no Experience, no Trust and definitely nothing to Mitigate. So, what do I do?
I cannot even begin to tell you how much I want to run the other way. I want to throw it away. I hate feeling like this. It's scary and stressful and throws me off balance like I've rarely felt before.
Don't be too concerned. I can handle it and it won't bring me down but it is freaking me out! So what will I do? I will not think about it too much. I will take a deep breath and I will be patient with myself and with the process.
I see a definite pattern here, a new motto developing... 'Breath, keep busy, be patient'. 'Breath, keep busy, be patient'. It has a nice ring to it....
So what has thrown me in this uncharted filing territory? Worse thing yet, I DON'T KNOW!
I will start by the beginning. I had an outing with Mr 2G2BT two nights ago for his birthday. Dinner and a play. A wonderful evening! I truly enjoy his company and he seems to be enjoying mine. We talked a lot after the play over a glass of wine and all was good.
That is it. Nothing more to write. So why do I feel this way and why oh why am I still hearing a bell ring once in awhile. A clear and distinct 'Ding Dong', not too loud, but ever so present? I don't know..... :(
Mr 2G2BT and I are taking it slow and we are supposed to see each other again next weekend. In the meantime, break is over and although I haven't turned on the pictures on my dating profile, I do have a few first meetings set up for this week with others.
Going out with others will ensure that I don't get emotionally involved too quickly with Mr 2G2BT. There is no way that I'm sitting around waiting while he continues to date others ....
So I wait and see. My gut is telling me something and I'm not sure what. I've already known Mr 2G2BT for one month now (how time flies when you're having fun) and I'm bound to find out what is going on one way or another. I have to remember to be patient.....right?
In the meantime, life goes on. I spend time with my wonderful son, I take care of my home, I work my jobs, I exercise, I talk to friends and family and I spend time with the most important person in my life..... Me. I need to remember not to forget about her. I need to remember that over analysis will throw 'her' into a weirded out place.
So here I go, 'breath in, breath out, keep busy and be patient'. Oh and of course .....smile. Life is good, I could decide to walk away anytime I wanted to, the temptation is there, but I'm not doing it .......yet....
Yours in a weirded out state,
SSW :)
Friday, 15 February 2013
Love and the zamboni
The day after the big V day I spent lots of time pondering the subject of love. I'm questioning the meaning of love but more importantly I'm wondering why I even bother to deal in the love game. Why am I thinking about it? Why the heck am I trying to find it? Why am I putting myself through this? Basically, because it's love. We all need love........right?
I learnt two big lessons today. Well that's not true, I didn't learn anything, I already knew it, I just needed it to be pointed out to me I think. We forget the basic things sometimes.
The first lesson was at my work. A little child that I had never seen before was reacting badly and was refusing to cooperate. He was surrounded by a loving, caring and calm adult that was doing her best with him. The adult looked at me for help and I gladly helped out. I knew that the child didn't know me, had never seen me and that because of this that the odds of me succeeding in this intervention would be close to zero. I got down to his level with a great big smile on my face and said hi to him. Long story short, he did what he had to do after I was able to reason with him. He then did something completely unexpected. He jumped in my arms and gave me the biggest and tightest hug I had ever had. I could feel his little arms shaking around my neck. Ok, so what is the lesson that I was reminded of with this? It is to love through a smile. Smile when you don't feel like smiling. Smile at someone who is not smiling. Smile at a stranger. Smile at someone who is stressed and please oh please smile at little children. They all need smiles. A smile can transmit love so powerfully that it can get you hugged like you've never been hugged before. Smiling can make you feel good too. It cures all kinds of ailments and will fool your brain chemistry to the point of changing your mood.
The second lesson that was conveyed to me today was that love can come in several shapes and forms. I was watching the end of our local news tonight and there was a story about a 90 year old man who used to drive the zamboni at his community ice rink. He retired along with his zamboni 15 years ago. A friend of the family, a younger man decided to restore the zamboni. He wanted to put a smile on his old friend's face. It took the younger man 7 years to restore the old ice resurfacing machine and to get it working again. Then, yesterday, on Valentine's day, he invited his 90 year old friend to come and resurface the ice with it. The older man was ecstatic. It brought a tear to my eye. His wife of 62 years was in the stands watching him (that brought a tear to my eyes also). At the end of the news segment, the two men thanked each other. They were both so happy. The elderly man is dying of cancer and the younger man wanted to put a smile on his face. It took him 7 years but he did it. Now isn't that love!!?? Pure love!
You are all wondering what the heck I'm talking about aren't you? HAHA!
You all want to know what happened with Mr 2G2BT last night! Cupid's arrow hit the zamboni fixer upper and the elderly man, it hit the little boy today when I smiled at him and I've concluded that it did hit me also but not in my heart (it's not that easy).
Cupid's arrow hit me in my thoughts, in my brain (the files are all stunned right now) and in my reasoning. Cupid made me remember that love is present in many many shapes and forms. Cupid made me remember to 'collect' on the love that is all around me. The several types of love are all important and necessary in everyone's life. Smile, enjoy the feel good stories about love and zambonis and yes, continue to hope and to search for the love that may one day penetrate your heart with cupid's arrow.....
Last night's evening was wonderful. There were flowers, candles, music, valentine cards to each other, food, chocolates, wine and lots of conversation between two new friends. The evening was calmly and reassuringly filled with understated romance yet not overbearingly so.
Does romance in its' pure form exist? Romance and respect of the other's wishes exists of that I'm sure. Romance in it's pure form.... I have never seen it yet...
Mr 2G2BT is charming, respectful, intelligent, funny, knowledgeable and an excellent communicator.
I'm still not ready to say that cupid has hit my heart but the arrow did hit the files and the Experience file is much quieter tonight. The Trust file is wide awake and paying attention and the Mitigation file feels like she is doing her job. Now if that is not a step in the right direction I don't know what is.
Mr 2G2BT and I have decided to continue seeing other people while seeing each other. We have not known each other for very long and we agree that it's ok to date others for now. I feel good about that.
For the most part, everything is calm but some bells are ringing once in awhile. Again, I'm pretty sure they are fake. They are not loud bells but they are still present and bugging me....
I take a deep breath, I keep busy, I remain patient and I remember to notice that love is all around me in many shapes and forms....
SSW :)
I learnt two big lessons today. Well that's not true, I didn't learn anything, I already knew it, I just needed it to be pointed out to me I think. We forget the basic things sometimes.
The first lesson was at my work. A little child that I had never seen before was reacting badly and was refusing to cooperate. He was surrounded by a loving, caring and calm adult that was doing her best with him. The adult looked at me for help and I gladly helped out. I knew that the child didn't know me, had never seen me and that because of this that the odds of me succeeding in this intervention would be close to zero. I got down to his level with a great big smile on my face and said hi to him. Long story short, he did what he had to do after I was able to reason with him. He then did something completely unexpected. He jumped in my arms and gave me the biggest and tightest hug I had ever had. I could feel his little arms shaking around my neck. Ok, so what is the lesson that I was reminded of with this? It is to love through a smile. Smile when you don't feel like smiling. Smile at someone who is not smiling. Smile at a stranger. Smile at someone who is stressed and please oh please smile at little children. They all need smiles. A smile can transmit love so powerfully that it can get you hugged like you've never been hugged before. Smiling can make you feel good too. It cures all kinds of ailments and will fool your brain chemistry to the point of changing your mood.
The second lesson that was conveyed to me today was that love can come in several shapes and forms. I was watching the end of our local news tonight and there was a story about a 90 year old man who used to drive the zamboni at his community ice rink. He retired along with his zamboni 15 years ago. A friend of the family, a younger man decided to restore the zamboni. He wanted to put a smile on his old friend's face. It took the younger man 7 years to restore the old ice resurfacing machine and to get it working again. Then, yesterday, on Valentine's day, he invited his 90 year old friend to come and resurface the ice with it. The older man was ecstatic. It brought a tear to my eye. His wife of 62 years was in the stands watching him (that brought a tear to my eyes also). At the end of the news segment, the two men thanked each other. They were both so happy. The elderly man is dying of cancer and the younger man wanted to put a smile on his face. It took him 7 years but he did it. Now isn't that love!!?? Pure love!
You are all wondering what the heck I'm talking about aren't you? HAHA!
You all want to know what happened with Mr 2G2BT last night! Cupid's arrow hit the zamboni fixer upper and the elderly man, it hit the little boy today when I smiled at him and I've concluded that it did hit me also but not in my heart (it's not that easy).
Cupid's arrow hit me in my thoughts, in my brain (the files are all stunned right now) and in my reasoning. Cupid made me remember that love is present in many many shapes and forms. Cupid made me remember to 'collect' on the love that is all around me. The several types of love are all important and necessary in everyone's life. Smile, enjoy the feel good stories about love and zambonis and yes, continue to hope and to search for the love that may one day penetrate your heart with cupid's arrow.....
Last night's evening was wonderful. There were flowers, candles, music, valentine cards to each other, food, chocolates, wine and lots of conversation between two new friends. The evening was calmly and reassuringly filled with understated romance yet not overbearingly so.
Does romance in its' pure form exist? Romance and respect of the other's wishes exists of that I'm sure. Romance in it's pure form.... I have never seen it yet...
Mr 2G2BT is charming, respectful, intelligent, funny, knowledgeable and an excellent communicator.
I'm still not ready to say that cupid has hit my heart but the arrow did hit the files and the Experience file is much quieter tonight. The Trust file is wide awake and paying attention and the Mitigation file feels like she is doing her job. Now if that is not a step in the right direction I don't know what is.
Mr 2G2BT and I have decided to continue seeing other people while seeing each other. We have not known each other for very long and we agree that it's ok to date others for now. I feel good about that.
For the most part, everything is calm but some bells are ringing once in awhile. Again, I'm pretty sure they are fake. They are not loud bells but they are still present and bugging me....
I take a deep breath, I keep busy, I remain patient and I remember to notice that love is all around me in many shapes and forms....
SSW :)
Tuesday, 12 February 2013
Perplexing Phenomenons
Something strange is happening. It is leaving me perplexed and wondering. I admit it openly, a wave of analysis is taking place. What is even stranger is that my M file is feeling very good in the work that she has done, the E file is left speechless at the moment (now that is a rare event) and the T file.....well the T file is still pretty emotionless but at least his eyes are opened and he is looking around and keeping an eye on things, the file is still firmly shut though..... Yes, perplexing phenomenons indeed!!! If you are confused over my file analogy please refer to my January entry of 'The ET Files'.
As I have told you recently, I have decided to turn off my pictures in my dating profile. This time around it is proving to be quieter and I have not had many emails since. This was the goal. To give me a break. I do not have any other dates or meetings (or whatever they are called) planned for this week apart from my first and second date with Mr 2G2BT.
The strange thing is, I am not feeling the urge to go and look around on that dating site. It has even occurred to me to turn off the profile and to just let it be. Have I reached my limit, the one that I've talked about in the past. Am I ready to just let the dating be, to get back into my comfort zone of doing my own thing? Or is something even scarier happening?
I suspect that it's the latter and not the former that is in the works right now. Scary indeed! I think that I'm finding comfort in Mr 2G2BT's company. Let me tell you that my Trust file in on the verge of sealing itself shut and that the Experience file is presently shaking his head in disgust. The Mitigation file is frowning at both of them. She is not pleased with their attitude!!
I'm automatically fighting this feeling of comfort with a man. I'm thinking of excuses not to be comfortable and not to trust. In fact, I think I heard a bell. I know, I know, the bell is fake! It's a fake but I am hearing one nevertheless .... No, I won't run the other way. Not yet anyways. I will see this through. I'm not sure on the source of this angst.
I'm telling you all right now that it's freaking me out though. My ET files cannot wait to tell me 'I told you so'. The M file is jumping up and down at them at the moment and yelling at them to be quiet! (quite the visual eh - HA)!
I am seeing this comfort with a man as pressure and I'm not sure why. I'm seeing it as a bit of stress and it's definitely throwing me out of my comfort zone in a big way.
So what to do? I will do what I promised I would in my other entries. I will not over analyze (or try not to), I will not jump to conclusions (especially seeing that I'm approaching Paused Mental Stability again), I will take a deep breath and I will keep busy.
Be assured that I'm ok. This is not stressing me out to the point of no return. It just bugs me when I think about it so work and exercise are key factors for me right now.
All and all, I think I've done some major leaps and bounds in this dating world. Before I started blogging and writing about my thoughts and experiences, I would have just thrown all of this away with Mr 2G2BT. Now, I'm giving it a chance, I'm developing patience and I'm learning to know myself at another level. A level where I will have to learn to trust another human being. Something that I haven't had to do in the last 10 years or so of my life because I only had to trust myself to make things work out. Of course I had friends and family around and of course I trusted them. But bottom line, when it came to daily things, to surviving at most levels, I had to trust me and me alone. Now I need to allow this trust to expand without thinking that I will implode, explode or that someone is out to get me. I need to stop the thought process that I must protect myself and everything that I have just because I'm starting to allow someone to be close to me......
(That last paragraph just flew out of me....what a mouthful that was eh)?
Why am I thinking like that to begin with? I don't know. I've been independent for too long? I've worked too hard by myself to get out of a few holes whether they be financial or emotional? I'm not sure.
I will need to take that chance and to trust. To trust at all levels, but especially with my heart! Oh boy..... scary and perplexing.....
I can do this...one day at a time....one date at a time. I will NOT panic and run the other way.....
I sometimes feel like her - HAHA!!
SSW :)
As I have told you recently, I have decided to turn off my pictures in my dating profile. This time around it is proving to be quieter and I have not had many emails since. This was the goal. To give me a break. I do not have any other dates or meetings (or whatever they are called) planned for this week apart from my first and second date with Mr 2G2BT.
The strange thing is, I am not feeling the urge to go and look around on that dating site. It has even occurred to me to turn off the profile and to just let it be. Have I reached my limit, the one that I've talked about in the past. Am I ready to just let the dating be, to get back into my comfort zone of doing my own thing? Or is something even scarier happening?
I suspect that it's the latter and not the former that is in the works right now. Scary indeed! I think that I'm finding comfort in Mr 2G2BT's company. Let me tell you that my Trust file in on the verge of sealing itself shut and that the Experience file is presently shaking his head in disgust. The Mitigation file is frowning at both of them. She is not pleased with their attitude!!
I'm automatically fighting this feeling of comfort with a man. I'm thinking of excuses not to be comfortable and not to trust. In fact, I think I heard a bell. I know, I know, the bell is fake! It's a fake but I am hearing one nevertheless .... No, I won't run the other way. Not yet anyways. I will see this through. I'm not sure on the source of this angst.
I'm telling you all right now that it's freaking me out though. My ET files cannot wait to tell me 'I told you so'. The M file is jumping up and down at them at the moment and yelling at them to be quiet! (quite the visual eh - HA)!
I am seeing this comfort with a man as pressure and I'm not sure why. I'm seeing it as a bit of stress and it's definitely throwing me out of my comfort zone in a big way.
So what to do? I will do what I promised I would in my other entries. I will not over analyze (or try not to), I will not jump to conclusions (especially seeing that I'm approaching Paused Mental Stability again), I will take a deep breath and I will keep busy.
Be assured that I'm ok. This is not stressing me out to the point of no return. It just bugs me when I think about it so work and exercise are key factors for me right now.
All and all, I think I've done some major leaps and bounds in this dating world. Before I started blogging and writing about my thoughts and experiences, I would have just thrown all of this away with Mr 2G2BT. Now, I'm giving it a chance, I'm developing patience and I'm learning to know myself at another level. A level where I will have to learn to trust another human being. Something that I haven't had to do in the last 10 years or so of my life because I only had to trust myself to make things work out. Of course I had friends and family around and of course I trusted them. But bottom line, when it came to daily things, to surviving at most levels, I had to trust me and me alone. Now I need to allow this trust to expand without thinking that I will implode, explode or that someone is out to get me. I need to stop the thought process that I must protect myself and everything that I have just because I'm starting to allow someone to be close to me......
(That last paragraph just flew out of me....what a mouthful that was eh)?
Why am I thinking like that to begin with? I don't know. I've been independent for too long? I've worked too hard by myself to get out of a few holes whether they be financial or emotional? I'm not sure.
I will need to take that chance and to trust. To trust at all levels, but especially with my heart! Oh boy..... scary and perplexing.....
I can do this...one day at a time....one date at a time. I will NOT panic and run the other way.....
SSW :)
Saturday, 9 February 2013
Understanding the understated....
You will all be very pleased with me. I have not overly over analyzed, I have not ran the other way and I'm cautiously smiling tonight! Yes of course I'm talking about my evening last night Mr 2G2BT.
We had an 'outing'. Or was it a 'meeting' or a 'hang out'? Either way, it wasn't a date. We went out to our local university level sports event, (I enjoyed it immensely by the way) where we sat like university kids on a hard bench and cheered for the home team. We also talked a lot.
In the middle of the game, at no particular meaningful time, Mr 2G2BT said 'I would really like to cook dinner for you on Thursday, would you like that?' He surprised me and I just stared (duh). He then said, 'Thursday is the 14th.' He was looking at me with a little smile on his face. I then asked 'will this be a date'? To which he replied, 'why yes it will be a date!' I smiled back at him and said 'so are you saying that our first day will be on Valentine's day?' And of course he replied, 'yes it will be.'
Last week sometime in an email exchange, I had told Mr 2G2BT in passing that I wasn't a big fan of Valentine's day. I didn't offer an explanation and he did not comment on it. So last night, after this little exchange I said 'you are being romantic aren't you.' To which he giggled and replied 'well if that is what you think, sure I am.' We both laughed.
Mr 2G2BT wasn't sure how I would react to a dinner invite for Valentine's day so he approached it carefully. I have to say that this understated romantic gesture of having our first 'official' date on Valentine's day is quite nice. It has made me smile, but.......
I'm working really hard at not thinking ahead. Is Mr 2G2BT expecting anything else out of this date on Valentine's day? Will he be a true romantic and leave it at that? Or is he calling it a date because he thinks that it will equal something else?
I am not ready to eat my words yet and to tell you all that I was wrong and that romance is alive and well and that it truly exists. Ok, fine, I really liked the way he asked me, the place he asked me and especially that he is making the 'first' date on Valentine's and that he did not come out and state the obvious to me that Thursday the 14th of February is indeed Valentine's day. Yes, for a man to be truly romantic in my eyes, that is how he should do it....just like he did! I don't need a big show of flowers and chocolates and everything else (although diamonds are always good - HA)! That being said though, let's just see what this next week will bring for me in terms of understanding the reason behind this understated romantic gesture of his.
We also planned ahead for next weekend where Mr 2G2BT will be celebrating his birthday. We have two outings next week...... Our first and second date coinciding on Valentine's day and on his birthday.
Mr 2G2BT is also talking about the future. He is talking about my birthday which is in the summer months. He wants to teach me how to golf, which, if you live in my part of the world, is not really on anyone's mind in the frigid cold weather and tons of snow. In fact, Mr 2G2BT is scaring the cr*p out of me.
On the other hand, he seems to know enough to give me space. Or maybe he's the one that needs the space? We are both alone tonight, on a Saturday night, in our respective homes. I talked about rules of dating in my last entry. What are the rules pertaining to how often you see the person that you are starting to know and possibly date?
I wasn't sure on the protocol pertaining to the amount of time spent with someone that you are just starting to know. I admit that I've usually dove right in. With Mr Coach for example in my entry 'The Big D' I did a lot of dating in very few days. With Mr 2G2BT, I am restraining myself from seeing him more often even though I like his company. Why is that? Maybe I learned a lesson with Mr Coach?
I decided to do a quick google search on the topic of how often you should go out with someone new in your life. On the most part, from what I have read, many are advocating that 'whatever feels good' is the way to go. More specifically though, some say once a week at first then you move up to a couple of times per week and then you just increase your time. Yet, others say that every second day is the best way to get to know them.
For the time being, I will not over think this. I will just go with what feels comfortable. Right now, alone in front of my fire place, writing this to you is indeed quite cozy thank you very much.
I caught myself smiling to myself a few times today.... That also scares me.... My E-file is distraught. In my experience, romance, understated or not, does not truly exist in its pure form...there is always a hidden reason behind it.... The E file has been telling me this for the last 24 hours but the M-file is doing her job..... (See my entry 'The ET files' if you are confused).
I will not jump to conclusions, I will not over analyze and I will take it as it comes. Talk about stepping out of my comfort zone.
As weird as it sounds, I can actually feel my M-file working up there (yes there)......
SSW :)
We had an 'outing'. Or was it a 'meeting' or a 'hang out'? Either way, it wasn't a date. We went out to our local university level sports event, (I enjoyed it immensely by the way) where we sat like university kids on a hard bench and cheered for the home team. We also talked a lot.
In the middle of the game, at no particular meaningful time, Mr 2G2BT said 'I would really like to cook dinner for you on Thursday, would you like that?' He surprised me and I just stared (duh). He then said, 'Thursday is the 14th.' He was looking at me with a little smile on his face. I then asked 'will this be a date'? To which he replied, 'why yes it will be a date!' I smiled back at him and said 'so are you saying that our first day will be on Valentine's day?' And of course he replied, 'yes it will be.'
Last week sometime in an email exchange, I had told Mr 2G2BT in passing that I wasn't a big fan of Valentine's day. I didn't offer an explanation and he did not comment on it. So last night, after this little exchange I said 'you are being romantic aren't you.' To which he giggled and replied 'well if that is what you think, sure I am.' We both laughed.
Mr 2G2BT wasn't sure how I would react to a dinner invite for Valentine's day so he approached it carefully. I have to say that this understated romantic gesture of having our first 'official' date on Valentine's day is quite nice. It has made me smile, but.......
I'm working really hard at not thinking ahead. Is Mr 2G2BT expecting anything else out of this date on Valentine's day? Will he be a true romantic and leave it at that? Or is he calling it a date because he thinks that it will equal something else?
I am not ready to eat my words yet and to tell you all that I was wrong and that romance is alive and well and that it truly exists. Ok, fine, I really liked the way he asked me, the place he asked me and especially that he is making the 'first' date on Valentine's and that he did not come out and state the obvious to me that Thursday the 14th of February is indeed Valentine's day. Yes, for a man to be truly romantic in my eyes, that is how he should do it....just like he did! I don't need a big show of flowers and chocolates and everything else (although diamonds are always good - HA)! That being said though, let's just see what this next week will bring for me in terms of understanding the reason behind this understated romantic gesture of his.
We also planned ahead for next weekend where Mr 2G2BT will be celebrating his birthday. We have two outings next week...... Our first and second date coinciding on Valentine's day and on his birthday.
Mr 2G2BT is also talking about the future. He is talking about my birthday which is in the summer months. He wants to teach me how to golf, which, if you live in my part of the world, is not really on anyone's mind in the frigid cold weather and tons of snow. In fact, Mr 2G2BT is scaring the cr*p out of me.
On the other hand, he seems to know enough to give me space. Or maybe he's the one that needs the space? We are both alone tonight, on a Saturday night, in our respective homes. I talked about rules of dating in my last entry. What are the rules pertaining to how often you see the person that you are starting to know and possibly date?
I wasn't sure on the protocol pertaining to the amount of time spent with someone that you are just starting to know. I admit that I've usually dove right in. With Mr Coach for example in my entry 'The Big D' I did a lot of dating in very few days. With Mr 2G2BT, I am restraining myself from seeing him more often even though I like his company. Why is that? Maybe I learned a lesson with Mr Coach?
I decided to do a quick google search on the topic of how often you should go out with someone new in your life. On the most part, from what I have read, many are advocating that 'whatever feels good' is the way to go. More specifically though, some say once a week at first then you move up to a couple of times per week and then you just increase your time. Yet, others say that every second day is the best way to get to know them.
For the time being, I will not over think this. I will just go with what feels comfortable. Right now, alone in front of my fire place, writing this to you is indeed quite cozy thank you very much.
I caught myself smiling to myself a few times today.... That also scares me.... My E-file is distraught. In my experience, romance, understated or not, does not truly exist in its pure form...there is always a hidden reason behind it.... The E file has been telling me this for the last 24 hours but the M-file is doing her job..... (See my entry 'The ET files' if you are confused).
I will not jump to conclusions, I will not over analyze and I will take it as it comes. Talk about stepping out of my comfort zone.
As weird as it sounds, I can actually feel my M-file working up there (yes there)......
SSW :)
Wednesday, 6 February 2013
'This is a TEST, this is ONLY a test'
I heard from Mr 2G2BT last night. We made plans to see each other at the end of the week. We chatted about this and that and then, out of the blue, he stated 'I think it will be time to go out on a date soon'.
I wasn't sure what he meant by that. I replied 'what have we been doing the last few outings, weren't those dates'? He replied, 'nahhhh, we can do better than that'! Hmmmm, this begs the question.....' What the hell is he talking about'??!!
The story gets better. I got an email today. Mr 2G2BT wants to go see a sporting event with me again. I said sure, that sounds great. Of course, still thinking about last night's comment I asked 'will this be a date'? To which he replied, 'no, it's not a date'!!??
After laughing by myself for a bit, I thought it would be wise to reply that I was looking forward to our outing, date or not.
Does it really matter what we call it? However, this comment does have me wondering. Is this just an official thing in his mind? Is this some sort of code that he is trying to tell me? That if we call it a date that we may move it at another level?
I've asked two men in my life their thoughts on this. One is a co-worker and the other one is my brother. They both replied it's sexually related. I've asked one female co-worker and she just smiled at me and said 'well what do you think'? But then after a minute or two she said, 'but you never know'?!
All and all this has me wondering about labels? An outing, a meeting, a greet, a get together, a hangout....are these just other words we use to precede the elusive DATE!
Ladies and gentlemen 'this is a TEST, this is ONLY a test', no need to worry about the dates yet..... let's just hang out for awhile and see. Dates to follow.....maybe!? *Sigh* Dating (or trying to date) is definitely more complicated nowadays....
Can you all imagine the level of analysis that will occur with me when we do decide to call it dating?? HA!
I think Mr 2G2BT or another Mr, or a woman or SOMEONE should have warned me that I wasn't dating yet!!! Apparently I've been in a non-dating world for some time now and nobody told me? Heck I may have to reorganize my whole filing system in my brain!! HAHA! Don't worry, I won't do that to you nor to myself for that matter. The E-T files are just starting to accept the M file. Could you imagine the chaos that would occur with another file up there in my head?
Wanting a no-nonsense, straight up and in your face opinion, I decided to text my Mr Friend. We've been friends for about 10 years now. He's a good man, not dating material for me but nevertheless, we've been sometimes just texting, going out for a drink or dinner on and off for years now. I suspect he will always be in my life in one way or another but just as a Mr Friend.
Knowing that I would get an extremely direct answer from him, I asked him what he thought of Mr 2G2BT's comment about our non-dating status as of yet. Mr Friend came right out and told me. He wants sex.
In fact, Mr Friend was surprised that Mr 2G2BT lasted for almost 5 outings without sex. Mr Friend's dating code is only 3 dates (and yes, he calls them dates). Mr Friend is not necessarily on the same wavelength as me as to what he is searching for in a partner. Now you know why we have never dated.....
For the record, Mr Friend is going to try joining me in the online dating world soon. After our conversation, he is now quite worried that things have changed in terms of dating rules!!??
I'm soooo confused! What in the world? What rules? No one told me about rules??
I think it depends on what we are all looking for.... At least I hope that it depends on what we are looking for... YIKES!! I feel lost in my dating (or non-dating) world! Heck I don't even know what world I'm in now!
I know for a fact that Mr 2G2BT is way too intelligent to think that I'm so gullible as to fall for calling an outing a 'date' as being equal to sex. Perhaps he will sweep me off my feet in a beautiful and romantic outing and call it a date (as I close my Harlequin Romance book)?
**Note that I don't read Harlequin Romance books. I try to stay away from romance as much as possible..... I am waaaay too cynical for romance. If and that is a heck of a big IF this Mr 2G2BT turns out to be a romantic (because in my experience men are not), I will eat my words and I will admit to being wrong to you on my blog.
A sweet and kind co-worker, a reader of my blog asked me the other day what would happen if I developed a relationship with someone and he then found out that I had blogged about him. The thought had already crossed my mind.
Two answers to that. Firstly, I am not saying anything wrong about any of them (just telling the truth) and I'm not going into super duper intimate details. No Shades of Grey in this blog but rather just shades of whatever is happening up there.....(yes there)! Secondly, if ever I do end up in a relationship, I like to think that he will be secure enough to handle this blog.
On the other hand, perhaps after he has read the entries to this blog, he will run the other way so far that I'll never see him again... HA!
Nevertheless, the blog remains an outlet for ME (remember, ME? She is my perfect partner....and should always remain so). I feel good about writing and frankly, although I love having readers and love seeing comments and followers, the writing alone is therapeutic and quite relaxing.
So after being in a series of tests, outings, hang outs, meets etc... I'm about to enter the elusive dating world! I think?
And here I thought I was blogging about dating. Boy did I have it wrong!
Signed: single, dateless and a tad confused about her dating or non-dating status,
SSW :)
More and more, I think I need this book.....
I wasn't sure what he meant by that. I replied 'what have we been doing the last few outings, weren't those dates'? He replied, 'nahhhh, we can do better than that'! Hmmmm, this begs the question.....' What the hell is he talking about'??!!
The story gets better. I got an email today. Mr 2G2BT wants to go see a sporting event with me again. I said sure, that sounds great. Of course, still thinking about last night's comment I asked 'will this be a date'? To which he replied, 'no, it's not a date'!!??
After laughing by myself for a bit, I thought it would be wise to reply that I was looking forward to our outing, date or not.
Does it really matter what we call it? However, this comment does have me wondering. Is this just an official thing in his mind? Is this some sort of code that he is trying to tell me? That if we call it a date that we may move it at another level?
I've asked two men in my life their thoughts on this. One is a co-worker and the other one is my brother. They both replied it's sexually related. I've asked one female co-worker and she just smiled at me and said 'well what do you think'? But then after a minute or two she said, 'but you never know'?!
All and all this has me wondering about labels? An outing, a meeting, a greet, a get together, a hangout....are these just other words we use to precede the elusive DATE!
Ladies and gentlemen 'this is a TEST, this is ONLY a test', no need to worry about the dates yet..... let's just hang out for awhile and see. Dates to follow.....maybe!? *Sigh* Dating (or trying to date) is definitely more complicated nowadays....
Can you all imagine the level of analysis that will occur with me when we do decide to call it dating?? HA!
I think Mr 2G2BT or another Mr, or a woman or SOMEONE should have warned me that I wasn't dating yet!!! Apparently I've been in a non-dating world for some time now and nobody told me? Heck I may have to reorganize my whole filing system in my brain!! HAHA! Don't worry, I won't do that to you nor to myself for that matter. The E-T files are just starting to accept the M file. Could you imagine the chaos that would occur with another file up there in my head?
Wanting a no-nonsense, straight up and in your face opinion, I decided to text my Mr Friend. We've been friends for about 10 years now. He's a good man, not dating material for me but nevertheless, we've been sometimes just texting, going out for a drink or dinner on and off for years now. I suspect he will always be in my life in one way or another but just as a Mr Friend.
Knowing that I would get an extremely direct answer from him, I asked him what he thought of Mr 2G2BT's comment about our non-dating status as of yet. Mr Friend came right out and told me. He wants sex.
In fact, Mr Friend was surprised that Mr 2G2BT lasted for almost 5 outings without sex. Mr Friend's dating code is only 3 dates (and yes, he calls them dates). Mr Friend is not necessarily on the same wavelength as me as to what he is searching for in a partner. Now you know why we have never dated.....
For the record, Mr Friend is going to try joining me in the online dating world soon. After our conversation, he is now quite worried that things have changed in terms of dating rules!!??
I'm soooo confused! What in the world? What rules? No one told me about rules??
I think it depends on what we are all looking for.... At least I hope that it depends on what we are looking for... YIKES!! I feel lost in my dating (or non-dating) world! Heck I don't even know what world I'm in now!
I know for a fact that Mr 2G2BT is way too intelligent to think that I'm so gullible as to fall for calling an outing a 'date' as being equal to sex. Perhaps he will sweep me off my feet in a beautiful and romantic outing and call it a date (as I close my Harlequin Romance book)?
**Note that I don't read Harlequin Romance books. I try to stay away from romance as much as possible..... I am waaaay too cynical for romance. If and that is a heck of a big IF this Mr 2G2BT turns out to be a romantic (because in my experience men are not), I will eat my words and I will admit to being wrong to you on my blog.
A sweet and kind co-worker, a reader of my blog asked me the other day what would happen if I developed a relationship with someone and he then found out that I had blogged about him. The thought had already crossed my mind.
Two answers to that. Firstly, I am not saying anything wrong about any of them (just telling the truth) and I'm not going into super duper intimate details. No Shades of Grey in this blog but rather just shades of whatever is happening up there.....(yes there)! Secondly, if ever I do end up in a relationship, I like to think that he will be secure enough to handle this blog.
On the other hand, perhaps after he has read the entries to this blog, he will run the other way so far that I'll never see him again... HA!
Nevertheless, the blog remains an outlet for ME (remember, ME? She is my perfect partner....and should always remain so). I feel good about writing and frankly, although I love having readers and love seeing comments and followers, the writing alone is therapeutic and quite relaxing.
So after being in a series of tests, outings, hang outs, meets etc... I'm about to enter the elusive dating world! I think?
And here I thought I was blogging about dating. Boy did I have it wrong!
Signed: single, dateless and a tad confused about her dating or non-dating status,
SSW :)
More and more, I think I need this book.....
Monday, 4 February 2013
R E S P E C T
Aretha Franklin had it right didn't she.....
'.....What you want
Baby, I got
What you need
Do you know I got it?
All I'm askin'
Is for a little respect.......
.........R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me......'
I had been talking with Mr Overconfidence in the last few days. He started off mildly enough but not long after we made the decision to meet, his comments got to be a bit much. Seeing that I didn't owe him anything, I decided to cancel the outing.
Experience from the file (yes that file) located up there (yes there) tells me that when a man starts off that way, that he is looking to move fast. Very fast. 'I've had a long day and I'm aching, are you good at massages'? Or again 'I can't sleep, there is a lot to be said for being rocked to sleep', and another one, 'my heart rate increases 20 beats per minute when I talk to you'.
I don't know about you, but crap like that makes my skin crawl. Why do some people start off perfectly nice and then slither out from under their rock? Thankfully, he showed his true colours pretty quickly. In fact, I didn't even have to meet him..... What is it in some people that make them think that they don't have to respect you?
The definition of respect from Dictionary.com is as follows : '.....
Mr Overconfidence didn't start off this bad (or I would not have set a time to meet with him) but from the minute he knew we were meeting, the filters disappeared in his head and the thoughts crossed over through his mouth. This in turn made me feel very uncomfortable and I therefore cancelled the meeting.
He is a part of an increasingly common breed, someone who lacks respect. If you can't respect the other person, you also can't respect yourself. Mr Overconfidence had no chance with this Self-Respecting Self-Sufficient Woman!
After meeting the quiet yet respectful Mr Silver the other day, I met Mr Loner the next day. He is a nice man, 42 years old (yes, a younger man!) and we had a good evening of talking about this and that. We don't have too much in common. He is a self-proclaimed home body that states that he needs his time alone....His exact words were 'I need my time alone very often'.
So.....hmmmm, well, what do I say to that? I'm thinking that even though it's ok to be a home body, for him to tell me that he needs time alone 'very often' the first time we meet is probably not a good sign. Of course, I need my time alone also, we all do and it is very important, but it's not the first thing that comes to mind when I meet a potential partner.....I'm thinking that Mr Loner and I are probably not a good match. No brick wall needed there! HA!
Mr Loner had a boyish charm to him though, he was respectful to me at all levels. Good for Mr Loner! Hopefully he will meet his Mrs Loner one day ;)
I met someone else tonight. Mr Stinker! I don't know where to begin. He STANK! How can you go and meet someone at a book store and STINK! Take a shower, brush your teeth, shave, put on deodorant, wash your hair, change your clothes and RESPECT yourself enough to be presentable! I browsed the books and Mr Stinker followed me around, I was walking fast to avoid him being too close to me. I stayed ahead of him because goodness forbid that I end up down wind from him!! This may have been my worst meeting on record (well, top 5, I've had some pretty bad ones - refer to my other entries).
Now that I think about it, it may have been a pretty funny scene for someone watching us. I've never walked a book store so fast in my life! And he kept on following me! AHHHHHH!!
So I meet another Mr tomorrow. I haven't named him yet. We have been talking for a few months actually but we have never been able to meet. I'm thinking that this is not a good sign. He has young children and yes, the bells are already ringing on that. I respect him very much for being a father that is present in his young children's lives though. They are his priority and just for that, he deserves tons of respect!
After this meeting with the yet unnamed Mr, I'm taking a break again. The pictures have been turned off the profile. I'm tired of going out and I'm getting discouraged again. I respect myself enough to not bring myself down over this. I also respect myself enough to not settle for just anyone. Lots to be said for self-respect....
Some synonyms of respect are : appreciation, consideration, dignity, esteem, recognition.
I'm proud to say that I appreciate myself, I'm considerate towards my needs, I have dignity, self-esteem and I recognize my limitations and more importantly I respect them. Needless to say that I think that I respect everyone around me. Again, one goes hand in hand, you can't respect others if you don't respect yourself.
Now to find someone that holds these qualities for himself and for me....
Signed, respectfully yours,
SSW :)
I leave you with Aretha Franklin's song RESPECT!
'.....What you want
Baby, I got
What you need
Do you know I got it?
All I'm askin'
Is for a little respect.......
.........R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me......'
I had been talking with Mr Overconfidence in the last few days. He started off mildly enough but not long after we made the decision to meet, his comments got to be a bit much. Seeing that I didn't owe him anything, I decided to cancel the outing.
Experience from the file (yes that file) located up there (yes there) tells me that when a man starts off that way, that he is looking to move fast. Very fast. 'I've had a long day and I'm aching, are you good at massages'? Or again 'I can't sleep, there is a lot to be said for being rocked to sleep', and another one, 'my heart rate increases 20 beats per minute when I talk to you'.
I don't know about you, but crap like that makes my skin crawl. Why do some people start off perfectly nice and then slither out from under their rock? Thankfully, he showed his true colours pretty quickly. In fact, I didn't even have to meet him..... What is it in some people that make them think that they don't have to respect you?
The definition of respect from Dictionary.com is as follows : '.....
esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.......'
He is a part of an increasingly common breed, someone who lacks respect. If you can't respect the other person, you also can't respect yourself. Mr Overconfidence had no chance with this Self-Respecting Self-Sufficient Woman!
After meeting the quiet yet respectful Mr Silver the other day, I met Mr Loner the next day. He is a nice man, 42 years old (yes, a younger man!) and we had a good evening of talking about this and that. We don't have too much in common. He is a self-proclaimed home body that states that he needs his time alone....His exact words were 'I need my time alone very often'.
So.....hmmmm, well, what do I say to that? I'm thinking that even though it's ok to be a home body, for him to tell me that he needs time alone 'very often' the first time we meet is probably not a good sign. Of course, I need my time alone also, we all do and it is very important, but it's not the first thing that comes to mind when I meet a potential partner.....I'm thinking that Mr Loner and I are probably not a good match. No brick wall needed there! HA!
Mr Loner had a boyish charm to him though, he was respectful to me at all levels. Good for Mr Loner! Hopefully he will meet his Mrs Loner one day ;)
I met someone else tonight. Mr Stinker! I don't know where to begin. He STANK! How can you go and meet someone at a book store and STINK! Take a shower, brush your teeth, shave, put on deodorant, wash your hair, change your clothes and RESPECT yourself enough to be presentable! I browsed the books and Mr Stinker followed me around, I was walking fast to avoid him being too close to me. I stayed ahead of him because goodness forbid that I end up down wind from him!! This may have been my worst meeting on record (well, top 5, I've had some pretty bad ones - refer to my other entries).
Now that I think about it, it may have been a pretty funny scene for someone watching us. I've never walked a book store so fast in my life! And he kept on following me! AHHHHHH!!
So I meet another Mr tomorrow. I haven't named him yet. We have been talking for a few months actually but we have never been able to meet. I'm thinking that this is not a good sign. He has young children and yes, the bells are already ringing on that. I respect him very much for being a father that is present in his young children's lives though. They are his priority and just for that, he deserves tons of respect!
After this meeting with the yet unnamed Mr, I'm taking a break again. The pictures have been turned off the profile. I'm tired of going out and I'm getting discouraged again. I respect myself enough to not bring myself down over this. I also respect myself enough to not settle for just anyone. Lots to be said for self-respect....
Some synonyms of respect are : appreciation, consideration, dignity, esteem, recognition.
I'm proud to say that I appreciate myself, I'm considerate towards my needs, I have dignity, self-esteem and I recognize my limitations and more importantly I respect them. Needless to say that I think that I respect everyone around me. Again, one goes hand in hand, you can't respect others if you don't respect yourself.
Now to find someone that holds these qualities for himself and for me....
Signed, respectfully yours,
SSW :)
I leave you with Aretha Franklin's song RESPECT!
Saturday, 2 February 2013
Impressive Impressions
I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised last night! I went out to dinner with Mr 2G2BT. Much to my dismay, he was not high strung or high keyed. He was however 20 minutes late (ahem). We had a nice dinner and talked and talked and talked. He did apologize profusely several times for being late. I forgave him....
Sometimes I find him attractive but most times I don't. Not quite sure what to think about that. I am attracted to his mind though. Hmmmm, what to do what to do? I went into the date with full intentions of it being my final one with him. Now, I know that it won't be my last. Was he just nervous the other times? Is he starting to relax?
The good news is that I'm not stressing over it. I really really liked his forewardness about something though. He came right out and asked me what I would like to do? If I wanted to continue to see him? He specifically said that he would like to continue to date me. He also asked if we should continue seeing others?
I told him that I appreciated his openness and his honesty. I replied that we could continue to see each other and that of course, we could date others. He admitted that he always thought it was a good sign to look forward to seeing someone and that he was always looking forward to seeing me.... He said 'let's move forward slowly'. He repeated my words that I had told him in an email last week. hmmmmm
My E file along with my T file reacted a bit to that comment. Is he telling me this because he thinks that this is what I want to hear?
The ET files have been experiencing some paranoia since the M file got introduced. They are quivering at the thought of being replaced or rather at being controlled by the Mitigation file. The Experience and Trust files are realizing that change is occurring up there (yes in my brain) and that a new filing system is slowly being introduced.
So he repeated my words.... who cares?! Paranoia, lack of trust or whatever you want to call it, I'm just going to go slow with Mr 2G2BT and see what happens. I will also continue to date others. Like I've said before, I believe that it will be a good experience for me to date more than one man. I will not get involved too quickly with neither one and if I feel the 'pull' towards someone more than the other.....well, I'll think about it at that time.
I met Mr Silver tonight. Nice man but not what I expected....his pictures are not up to date. Tsk Tsk. That is a big internet dating no-no.... He was nice enough though and that is the important thing.
Whereas Mr 2G2BT is high strung and high keyed, Mr Silver, this 44 year old white haired gentleman is the opposite. He is definitely laid back to the point of .....well let's just say that the thought occurred to me that I should check for a pulse. Things were pretty quiet and if I didn't talk, no one else did.... In fact, a couple of times I heard a cricket chirp...... It was a bit on the uncomfortable side. I was also caught wondering where the heck that cricket came from at this time of the year ;)
Without asking me if I wanted it, Mr Silver gave me his home phone number. I have a sneaky suspicion that he will ask me out again (sometimes I don't need a brick wall - HA)!
I have another few outings planned in the next week with others. I will see how it goes and I will surely let you all know!
Something is eating at me right now. Remember last week when I told you that Mr 2G2BT said he was 'thinking about me'? Strangely enough, now I find myself thinking about him. One week later? What the heck changed in one week? I'm baffled at that......
In a moment of over analysis over my last paragraph, I find myself wondering if I'm not thinking of Mr 2G2BT because he is in fact the 'better' option of the next few dates that I have lined up.
Wait! Stop the presses! There are a few serious problems with this last statement. Firstly, I need to stop over analyzing!! There! Ok! I said it!
Seconly, I don't know if Mr 2G2BT is the better option because I have not met the others yet (well I met Mr Silver). I am about to meet a few others soon. Even if my first impression is not too impressive (has a nice ring to it doesn't it?), maybe those next few dates that I will have next week will in fact leave an impressive impression :)
Bottom line, I have to remember that the 'better' of a small group is not necessarily the best for me. Right?
Again I repeat that I will not settle for anyone that is not right for me! I will however settle for the one that leaves impressive impressions on my heart.
Signed yours truly, hoping to have left impressive impressions that things are actually organizing themselves up there (yes there),
SSW :)
Sometimes I find him attractive but most times I don't. Not quite sure what to think about that. I am attracted to his mind though. Hmmmm, what to do what to do? I went into the date with full intentions of it being my final one with him. Now, I know that it won't be my last. Was he just nervous the other times? Is he starting to relax?
The good news is that I'm not stressing over it. I really really liked his forewardness about something though. He came right out and asked me what I would like to do? If I wanted to continue to see him? He specifically said that he would like to continue to date me. He also asked if we should continue seeing others?
I told him that I appreciated his openness and his honesty. I replied that we could continue to see each other and that of course, we could date others. He admitted that he always thought it was a good sign to look forward to seeing someone and that he was always looking forward to seeing me.... He said 'let's move forward slowly'. He repeated my words that I had told him in an email last week. hmmmmm
My E file along with my T file reacted a bit to that comment. Is he telling me this because he thinks that this is what I want to hear?
The ET files have been experiencing some paranoia since the M file got introduced. They are quivering at the thought of being replaced or rather at being controlled by the Mitigation file. The Experience and Trust files are realizing that change is occurring up there (yes in my brain) and that a new filing system is slowly being introduced.
So he repeated my words.... who cares?! Paranoia, lack of trust or whatever you want to call it, I'm just going to go slow with Mr 2G2BT and see what happens. I will also continue to date others. Like I've said before, I believe that it will be a good experience for me to date more than one man. I will not get involved too quickly with neither one and if I feel the 'pull' towards someone more than the other.....well, I'll think about it at that time.
I met Mr Silver tonight. Nice man but not what I expected....his pictures are not up to date. Tsk Tsk. That is a big internet dating no-no.... He was nice enough though and that is the important thing.
Whereas Mr 2G2BT is high strung and high keyed, Mr Silver, this 44 year old white haired gentleman is the opposite. He is definitely laid back to the point of .....well let's just say that the thought occurred to me that I should check for a pulse. Things were pretty quiet and if I didn't talk, no one else did.... In fact, a couple of times I heard a cricket chirp...... It was a bit on the uncomfortable side. I was also caught wondering where the heck that cricket came from at this time of the year ;)
Without asking me if I wanted it, Mr Silver gave me his home phone number. I have a sneaky suspicion that he will ask me out again (sometimes I don't need a brick wall - HA)!
I have another few outings planned in the next week with others. I will see how it goes and I will surely let you all know!
Something is eating at me right now. Remember last week when I told you that Mr 2G2BT said he was 'thinking about me'? Strangely enough, now I find myself thinking about him. One week later? What the heck changed in one week? I'm baffled at that......
In a moment of over analysis over my last paragraph, I find myself wondering if I'm not thinking of Mr 2G2BT because he is in fact the 'better' option of the next few dates that I have lined up.
Wait! Stop the presses! There are a few serious problems with this last statement. Firstly, I need to stop over analyzing!! There! Ok! I said it!
Seconly, I don't know if Mr 2G2BT is the better option because I have not met the others yet (well I met Mr Silver). I am about to meet a few others soon. Even if my first impression is not too impressive (has a nice ring to it doesn't it?), maybe those next few dates that I will have next week will in fact leave an impressive impression :)
Bottom line, I have to remember that the 'better' of a small group is not necessarily the best for me. Right?
Again I repeat that I will not settle for anyone that is not right for me! I will however settle for the one that leaves impressive impressions on my heart.
Signed yours truly, hoping to have left impressive impressions that things are actually organizing themselves up there (yes there),
SSW :)
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