My new blog

Now that I have found Mr Right, I've decided to finish this blog.  As promised though, here is the link to my new one.

I hope that you will all follow me there and read on about:

All The People In My Life......

http://allthepeopleinmylife.blogspot.ca/

Hope to see you all there and I hope to hear from you soon.....

SSW :)

P.S.  Check out my new profile picture on the blog and my new description.  If you click on 'view my complete profile' you should see the link to both blogs.

P.P.S.  Just copy and paste the above link to your address bar in order to reach the new blog.  Then save it in your favorites ;)

Thank you once again for reading....

SSW :)

Confident I got it Right!

'At some point in life, someone will love you more than what you've expected. Be patient and learn to wait, because sometimes, a patient person receives the best love story'.   Unknown author

And what a love story it is......

It's been awhile since I've written.  Frankly, I haven't had much to write about unless you want to hear me gushing about the love and romance (lol).

I AM OFFICIALLY INTRODUCING MR CONFIDENT AS MR RIGHT!!

There, that deserved capital letters I believe!

This will be my last entry to this blog.  I have found my Mr Right and although life is throwing us a few curve balls, we are handling them and we will be fine.

I do have to say to all of you though that for the first time in my life I'm realizing that a relationship is not necessarily 'hard work'.  Yes of course we have to communicate and talk things through, of course we have to laugh and have fun and we have to put each other first in each other's lives.  But guess what?  It's not difficult to do....it's the simplest thing in fact.

Yes, I'm still a mother and in my mom's heart my boy is my priority.  Yes, Mr Right has a family also and of course they are important.  But as a couple, we are each other's priority and that is shining through.

Another important factor is to develop a friendship.  Mr Right is my best friend.  I'm learning that liking someone AND loving him are very important things in a relationship. 

So there you have it!

SSW has found her life partner.  We are living through a few reality checks at the moment with me getting back to work but you know, I'm truly not worried about it..... 

My files up there (yes there) are happily sleeping together, no warning bells are ringing and my gut feelings are all good!  What an incredible feeling!  I don't have the words to tell you how right this feels......

I will think about another possible topic for a blog and I would also like to hear your suggestions.  I love writing and I find it very therapeutic.  I'm convinced that getting my thoughts together in writing this blog has helped me reached my goal to meet someone. 

Any thoughts on what I should write about next?  Please let me know!

Stay tuned, I will link the new blog to this one in another entry as soon as I figure out or get inspired as to what I should write about.....  Perhaps a guide to online dating?  Perhaps a guide to weight loss through proper nutrition and exercise?  Anything else?

Thank you to all of my readers from all over the world (that is truly mind boggling).

Thank you to everyone that has commented and given advice. 

I truly appreciated everyone's thoughts.

Signed yours in love and happiness,

Self-Sufficient Woman (I'm confident that despite Mr Right in my life that I will always be a SSW).

:))

It is wonderful to hold each other's heart.....

Friendship, romance and confidence

I thought that I would write a bit about these three things that I'm discovering in a new way.

Friendship: A friendship is a bond between two or more people.  For the sake of this entry, let's talk about the friendship between a couple.  Funny enough, I'm an expert on friendships.  I've been blessed with being surrounded by lots of friends and I have my very own special friends or bff if you wish.  Best friends forever are indeed special friends!

Now, I'm in the process of developing another relationship and having another kind of bff.  This bff though is different than all others I've ever had.  It is the development of a deep friendship with a man.  We do everything together as 'girlfriends' do, except....well he is not a girl (lol).  It's neat really!  We laugh and joke and tease and we also go for walks and shop and talk non stop.....almost as much as two women would. 

I'm not 100% sure but I think that this is a very good sign in a 'couple' relationship.  In fact, studies show that a couple that is also friends have a stronger relationship that lasts longer.  I guess it's the concept of not only loving someone but just as importantly liking them too...... I'm very happy to be developing a strong friendship with Mr Confidence.

Romance:  Romance is the show of emotional love.  It is a way to develop and to show the emotional attachment one has for the other.

In the past entries, I've often bashed the romance.  I've always associated the romantic gestures as being a way for the man to get what he wants sexually.  I'm now seriously eating my words.  I never thought that the day would come....

Oh, I was right in thinking that romantic men who are truly romantic for the sake of being romantic are not that common (that is what I've found and it is also what my girlfriends tell me), however, I have found me a truly and purely romantic man (life is rough - ha)!

What does romance do?  True romance tells me that the other person is willing to do anything to please and to make the other partner feel special. 

More importantly, the true romancer does not expect the other to reciprocate anything.....not even sex....  this is a big eye opener for me.  Not only that another person is willing to do these beautiful romantic gestures just for the sake and the fun of doing them but that nothing is expected in return. 
In fact, in my case, there is a look of confusion on Mr Confident's face if there is a mention of romance always being associated with sex.  In his eyes, the two do not necessarily coincide. 

Mr Confident has often told me that men in general do not know how to really treat a lady with the romance, the love and the attention that they truly deserve. 

Hey, who am I to argue with him?

I have to admit that it is refreshing to see and especially to feel.  Believe me, I don't take the romantic acts for granted and I cherish each and everyone one of them.  Whether it be kissing under a big tree when the sudden rain storm chases us on our walk or whether it be the sudden impulsive slow dances in the kitchen, or even the phone call in the middle of the day from work to express the love and the thankfulness to have found each other.....I will take it all....

Many people have expressed how they are happy for me and how much I deserve this.  I've now started to agree with them!  You're damn right I deserve this!!!  :)  Everyone does really.....

Confidence:  Mr Confident's confidence is a bit confusing to me at times. 

I'm always surprised at his show of confidence in everything in life.  It is not a cockiness that I am seeing but really a vision of positivity.  

Mr Confident does not understand why I worry about this and that.  He often tells me to relax and to get out of my head (hmmm, he knows me really well in such a short time). 

Thing is, I'm a positive person also but I tend to be analytical (yes, I know that you are all shocked) and he isn't.  I tend to question everything and he doesn't.  He just lets things be without much analysis. 

As mentioned before, we do compliment each other though.  Yes, I'm learning to relax and to slowly get out of my head, but Mr Confident is quickly finding out that when I analyze and organize that things get done in a serious way.  Yes, he laughs at my lists but he admits that things get done....

The confidence surrounding me is teaching me to trust.  I'm not sure why or how, but I do know that there is a lesson of trust happening. 

Mr Confidence is truly not concerned about my 'what ifs' and my analysis of most things.  He listens and comforts and hugs and assures me that everything will fall into place with time.  He does not chastise me for having those thoughts and he never makes me feel bad about them. 

Mr Confidence is a very very patient man.  Frankly, he is more patient with me than I am with myself.  I get on my own nerves at times.  He chuckles and hugs me and tells me he loves me. 

What else can I do but to simply relax? 

I'm with my new best friend....

A romantic best friend.....

Who is teaching me to trust through confidence and love.....

Who am I to argue with this?  What is there to fight?

Signed yours truly, slowly but surely getting out of her head.....

SSW :))

Finding the right balance

So as you may or may not have figured out, I'm having the time of my life with Mr Confident.

This incredible man is making me feel!  To be able to feel things, all kind of 'things' is an incredible feeling in itself.....  Weirdly enough I'm feeling 'things' I never thought I would ever feel or didn't believe existed.... *sigh*.

Yup, I'm hooked in.....hook, line and sinker..... 

Oh don't you all worry, I haven't completely lost myself in this.  I'm still aware and I'm still listening, observing and learning.  I have not had an entry titled 'Introducing Mr Right'.....yet......

No bells are ringing though and my files are happily cuddled together and sleeping.  The Mitigation File (M), the Experience File (E) and the Trust file (T) have actually done their job and with that I have MET someone great!

The biggest challenge for me at the moment is finding the right balance.  I sometimes get overwhelmed by it all and frankly a little bit scared.  Don't forget that I have been alone and completely independent for over 10 years.  I know that Mr Confident has admitted to feeling a bit scared also. 

We are working in finding the balance with each other.  It is not easy.  I'm happy to have met him at the beginning of my holidays thus making it that much easier to adjust.  A big period of adjustment will probably occur when I go back to work though.....I think we are up to the challenge.

A funny thought just went through my mind as I wrote the last paragraph.....  I'm not even doubting that this man will still be in my life by the time I get back to work.  Now that in itself is almost miraculous....

No, Mr Confident and I are finding the right balance.  We encourage each other to do our 'thing' and to take care of business.  He is teaching me (in a big way) to relax and to let go but on the other hand, I'm teaching him (I believe) to get things done and on schedule.  He feels very productive with me on his days off and for that I am pleased.

So I'm finding the balance with the time to do my 'things' and more importantly with the time to spend with my son.  I check in almost daily with my son in terms of finding out what he feels about all of this.
As it stands, he really likes Mr Confidence and I don't foresee this really changing in him......  Again, I'm very happy with that.....what my son thinks is very important to me.

The one place where I definitely need to regain control and balance is in the food department.  If you haven't read my January 2013 entry 'U can't touch this!!', please go read it to understand what it is I'm talking about.

Mr Confident has a sweet tooth.  A serious sweet tooth.  Our cooking styles are complete opposites.  I'm the fat conscious healthy cook and he is the 'fat adds taste to everything' cook.  It's a problem.....  It's a problem because in trying to integrate a relationship between Mr Confident and my son (Mr Confident works long hours) he has been having dinners with us.  Thing is, Mr Confident is an excellent cook and he absolutely loves it.  He insists on cooking because he loves it so much and it relaxes him after work.  So combine that with SSW here who doesn't particular like cooking but who likes food......well, I foresee a potential disaster ahead....

What have I done to balance this?  I've diminished portion sizes to begin with.   I've also kept up the gym and the exercise which is a very good thing.....

This week, I'm dealing with the hormonal side of things where sugar and salt are in the forefront.  Guess who is feeding me the sweets and the salt ON TOP of the dinners..... *sigh*.  Yup...  Mr Confident's attitude is 'if you crave it, eat it'.....  He is obviously not a middle aged hormonal woman....lol.

Funny thing is, I've actually lost a couple of pounds last week.  Probably due to the smaller portion size....?

I'm not blaming Mr Confident.  I've learnt over the  years that what crosses my lips is MY responsibility and mine alone....  I definitely need to find the balance in the food department though....

I think I will figure it out.  You see, the thing is, how my relationship with Mr Confident stands, I don't think that there will be anything that we cannot figure out together.  Mr Confident and I are fast becoming best friends and we communicate well.  I will be surprised if there is something that we can't conquer together..... 
 
So there you have it.  Finding the balance.  I thought I had the balance, I really did.  I'm in the process of redefining it though.  I'm more relaxed and less rigid with schedules, I'm learning that even the 'bad' foods can have a small place in my life (small place being the key word) and I'm also learning to allow someone in my life to help me with a variety of everyday things.  I'm learning to trust.  It's really something eh?

I'm trusting enough to allow Mr Confident to treat me like a queen (and boy does he ever) without even thinking of questioning his motives. 

I celebrated my birthday a few days ago.  The attention poured on me, the love and affection put forth in all of the little details just for the sake of pleasing me.....wow....truly mind boggling stuff.   The romance continues, the laughter continues and so does the good conversations.  The caring and the love is developing....

Lots of overwhelming stuff happening in my life.  You can all imagine that I get the 'panic' feeling at times.  Sometimes I supress it and at other times, I share it with Mr Confident who in turn always always always reassures me.

So there you have it.  I'm trying to regain some balance and more importantly I'm trying to find the right one.  We are both on the verge of meeting some family members (I've already met his lovely elderly mother who promptly look at his son after a few minutes of being with me and told him NOT to lose me.....lol, it was great).  Mr Confident and I both laugh at that once in awhile. 

The laughter is a definite plus for us.  We were at a store today and a worker stopped us to tell us that we were a 'cute' couple.  I suspect we radiate happiness and joy..... 

Not a bad thing at all eh?

Signed yours truly in a balancing act....

SSW :))

Letting go.....

Finding a balance in life has always been important to me.  I always thought that things were under control in my life....and according to my definition, they were.....

When I first met Mr Confident (seems like one year ago now for some reason), I was having trouble 'letting go'.  I could not let myself go and start to trust.  I knew I needed time and I have to admit that a few times, I almost backed off and thought of running the other way.

Thankfully Mr Confident saw right through this. For some reason, this man can read my mind.  He saw that I was having difficulty in letting go and in relaxing and trusting him so he simply offered me some sound advice.  He said 'instead of letting go of something, just add me on to your life and what needs to be let go, will go.....'

Pretty wise advice.  It worked.  Now, with a new add on, I'm finding that I'm letting go of the non essential things.  I THOUGHT that I had a good balance in life.  However now I realize that this balance was a little off....  I will explain this in another entry at another time....

I have my ups and downs with myself,  however I am getting better.  At one point, I was doubting several things about myself and my involvement.  Mr Confident simply hugged me and told me that he was not letting me go and that he would never allow me to push him away.  His words were 'I won't run away from your pushing, I will run right into it.' 

Thankfully we both communicate very well......

I have found myself a Mr Confident that will /is become /becoming my Mr Right....  No, we are not perfect, but we certainly seem perfect for each other....

In letting go of the non important stuff (that I'm learning from Mr Confident), I'm realizing that in order to be whole in a relationship that I must redefine my balance.  Not only do I now need to balance my son in this equation (and so far so good I think), but I need to redefine balance for myself.

I'm slowly letting go of a very rigid routine (even on holidays) and I'm learning to spend quality time with the two men in my life who each want my attention. 

Thankfully, Mr Confident has a young adult son of his own so he understands this.  He is fantastic with my son and is slowly penetrating his trust.....  He knows what he is doing and is proving to be Mr Confident with a teenager also.  I am oh so thankful for this....as you all know, if my son would not be comfortable with a man in my life, it would make a relationship impossible.

So here I am, I'm discovering my new best friend.  I'm communicating well with him, laughing with him and we both completely enjoy each other's company at all times. 

Mr Confident and I are both learning to allow the other to help out with every day things.  That in itself is a big lesson for two independent people.  We are both learning to let go of things, each having different things to let go but each learning to rely on the other one to do so.....

Now THAT is a big lesson.....  I'm letting go and it feels pretty good and pretty secure.....

In letting go, I'm redefining balance for myself... .

Who would have thought that I was off in my balance?  Wow...not me...

Signed yours truly, learning to let go of the non important stuff....

SSW :)

Trusting and having Confidence

A lot has happened once again since the last time I wrote. 

But baby, it's allllll goooood.....  :)

Mr Confident and I are getting to know each other.  We have a super connection going on.  We are discovering startling similarities in each other and are applauding our differences.....

Mr Confident is continuing to be extremely romantic!  He is a kind, gentle, fun and very respectful man. 

He wants me to meet his mother soon.  I'm looking forward to that......

Mr Confidence knows that I have trust issues.  He assures me of his patience with me.  He even told me that he would tell me every day if I needed to hear it...

I feel very comfortable with him.  In fact, I even told him about this blog.  I told him what his name is on the blog.  He smiled and told me that it belongs to me and that he did not want to read it.  He also told me that he keeps a journal and writes.  He is a very good writer......  the romantic emails are priceless to me.....

Yes, I'm smiling.....

No serious bells are ringing.  I've got 'my trust issues paranoia' in check and yes, even my files are quiet.

I'm going by the motto to trust until I have a reason not to trust....

I trust and I have confidence that I won't necessarily ever have a reason not to trust. 

Time will tell.....

But in the meantime, I'm smiling and laughing and giggling and yes, I'm in the process of letting the walls down from around my heart.

Mr Confident assures me that he is holding my heart for me and that he will always protect it.   And yes, in case you are wondering, those were his words......

Signed....a very slowly but surely trusting SSW :))

The Confidence I got from maman

I've been thinking a lot about my maman these last few days.  It marked the one year anniversary of her passing.

Yes, one year ago, I lost the most important woman in my life....my mom.

It is such a strange feeling to not be able to reach out to her anytime I want to.  Still to this day, one year later, I would love to sit with her and talk, hug her, tell her I love her and share a meal with her.

I obviously thought a lot about maman in the last year and I know that it is all part of the grieving.  This woman was without a single doubt the strongest woman alive.  The love that she had for her family made her succeed at everything she started.  Despite her husband, my papa being riddled with Multiple Sclerosis, she continued to be a faithful and loving wife to him, to deal with all of the children, to always manage to make ends meet and to always make sure we all had what we needed.

Maman would work with her hands and with her heart.  She cooked everything from scratch, she sewed our clothes and the house was always spotless.  Not such an easy feat for a household full of children.

I remember a time, Halloween night, my brother's birthday.  Maman was running late for some reason and I needed a costume for a school party in my elementary school.  Lo and behold, my brother got his homemade cake and while we were finishing up our second piece of desert, mom was on her sewing machine.  I won for best costume that year.....

Maman was a stand up lady.  She had her values and her faith.  She often said in her later years that she would not have made it through life without her faith.

She always told me to live for the day and to never settle for anything that didn't make me happy.

Pretty wise words. 

The older I get, the more I understand and appreciate those words.

Yes, maman taught me lots through her actions and her words.

I think the important lesson of persistence and the attitude of never settling (despite the impatience at times) is one that is proving to be quite rewarding for me.......

I am happily establishing a good friendship with Mr Confidence.  I can already see and feel where we could become best of friends.  He is continuing to be oh so patient with me.  The romance, the laughter, the talks....  all 'feel great' stuff! 

Yes, Mr Confidence is in my life.  I'm glad my maman gave me the Confidence to wait for what it is I truly wanted.....

Signed yours truly, taking it one day at a time and enjoying myself,

SSW :)

P.S.  A lesson from my maman....