Here I am, December 31rst, 2012. I've decided to share with the world my journey to finding a life long partner.
I've been seperated for 10 years and widowed from this same man for almost 4 years now. At the end of August 2012, I decided that I had been single long enough.
There is a lot to be said about being 'alone' in a world built for two. You develop an inner strength that you did not know you had. You learn to smile at the world and more importantly, you learn to conquer it....by yourself.
Having a teenager to raise by myself has certainly helped in keeping me grounded. He is obviously my priority and has been my shining light. He is a good teen! In fact, I'm blessed to have him in my life. He is definitely in my heart, but that is my 'mother' heart, I'm ready to find someone to fill in the other heart, the 'woman' heart. Or am I ready? HA!
I thank my lucky stars every day that I am self-sufficient that I do not NEED a man, that I am choosing to put myself through this (as funny as this sounds) and that I can walk away from it at any time. Or can I? What is it about us humans that make us feel the need to be with someone when logically, intellectually and deep down we know that we are fine with our friends, our family and more importantly with ourselves?
I haven't decided yet where I will start this blog. Will I talk to you about my relationship with my father (for any Freudian fans out there it could be interesting) or will I start with my marriage? Perhaps I will start by discussing my battle with my weight that I've had all my life. A battle that I've recently just won at the age of 45. Maintaining is another story though....
I need to think about it. I need to reflect. Stay tuned, I promise that it will be an interesting read......
Signed: Self-Sufficient woman (SSW)
